PsychedForBaby

Baby's 2nd Christmas

2011-01-08T20:32:00.000-06:00

The only thing I can think to start this with, is how different Christmas was, compared to what I thought it would be like. *Sigh*

When we listed our house for sale we knew we'd have to scale back on Christmas, probably wouldn't be able to put up our tree, etc. But when we sold and ended up with our closing scheduled for only five days after Christmas, my vision of what Christmas would be, really came shattering down.

It just didn't make sense to give Megan tons of presents that would have to be packed away and not seen again for almost four months. Instead, we only gave her three small gifts that she could take along with in the car. At least she had something to open on Christmas morning. On the empty living room floor, no tree in sight. :( She did get other presents from grandma and grandpa and her cousins that she got to open the night before, so it wasn't like she only got three little presents. But dang it, that isn't how I imagined her Second Christmas to be.

The first photos are from Christmas Eve. She loved looking at the tree. She would go up to it and touch it so gently. And that dress, so cute!

And Christmas morning.

Part of me is already looking forward to Christmas 2011. Putting up the tree and decorations and actually having presents under the tree. Megan will be 2.5 by then. She'll really be into the pretty lights and ornaments. Hopefully we can make it especially magic for her and us after the disappointing Christmas that we had in 2010.

Look Who's ONE!

2010-06-09T13:50:00.000-05:00

How is it possible that our little baby girl is already a year old? We had her 1yr appointment and she is still a peanut. She is so active that she just burns everything she takes in. Here are her official 1yr stats. And yes, officially, still a peanut.

Height - 29 1/4" 50%
Weight - 17lbs 10oz 5%
Head size - 47cm 90%

She's been walking independently for several weeks now. It was like it was her mission in the weeks leading up to her birthday to be walking by the time she turned one. She did it! She's so little, it makes it especially cute to see her walk across the room or carrying something that looks almost as big as her! Her favorites are the large playground ball and the FP Cookie Jar that she got for her birthday. You just have to be thankful that the cookie jar isn't "real" or breakable.

9 Months Old!

2010-03-09T20:41:00.001-06:00

Sorry to be MIA for so long. I'm still feeling torn as to whether or not to continue to blog. In a way I miss it, but then again, I barely have time to think about blogging. Maybe I should focus on being photo heavy with updates in pictures more than words.

She's certainly changed since my last post in November. Here's a current picture. I'm thinking maybe I'll go back and add a few postdated entries just to get more stuff out there. I always liked going back and seeing where we were at a certain time.

Today we had her 9 month check-up and she's doing really good! She's been crawling for a little over a month and pulls herself to a stand on almost everything. She likes to cruise along...I'm sure she'll be walking in no time! She's still my little peanut, that's for sure.

Height - 27 1/4" 25-50%
Weight - 15lbs 10.5oz 5-10%
Head size - 45.8 cm 90%

Well, That's Different!

2009-11-15T22:25:00.003-06:00

This kid is hilarious. I don't know how she does it, but every now and then she pulls out one of these new tricks and has us laughing and laughing. I'm pretty sure neither of us taught her this one since neither of us can repeat it. Thing is with these noises that she does, she seems to only do them for a couple of days, and then moves on to something new. If she starts doing something new, we have to catch it early.

For a few days, this is what she was doing after she had a bottle. I wish the video was clearer, but it was bedtime so the room was only dimly lit and her white noise was already turned on.

I have no idea how she made the connection that this action was even possible let alone as funny as we found it. When she drinks a bottle, she cups her tongue like a U around the bottle nipple while she's sucking. This is something that breastfed babies do, so it seems that she still has that skill even though we haven't really nursed since July.

5 Months Old

2009-11-09T22:38:00.005-06:00

This kid just amazes me. I've been struggling to get some decent pictures of her lately so I didn't really have high expectations that her 5 month pictures would turn out very well. I figured we'd have to try at least two different "sessions" with her to get anything workable. Nah! She nailed it on the first attempt. And she was in such a good mood. I am very pleased with how these turned out.

Here are a few of my favorites.

Someone has found her voice

2009-10-27T18:12:00.004-05:00

This is pretty funny. Over and over and over. The tongue just cracks me up!

Baptism Day

2009-10-24T20:25:00.000-05:00

For a while now we've been trying to figure out what to do as far as a baptism goes. We don't belong to a church, but we really felt it was important to have Megan baptized. When we got married, we hired a minister who came to our site to perform the ceremony. It felt like the right thing to do to contact him and see if he'd perform the baptism. When we called him, he said he often gets requests from couples he's married to baptize their children. With that, the decision was made to travel to his home church to have the ceremony performed. It would be a private service, on a Saturday morning.

Here are some photos from the service:

And more photos of Megan in her beautiful baptismal gown:

The dress was just beautiful. It's too bad there isn't reason to dress her up in it a few more times before she outgrows the dress.

What'cha Doing?

2009-10-20T14:30:00.000-05:00

At the very beginning you can hear me asking her "What'cha Doing?" She goes on the tell me all about her day.

Megan's Big Day

2009-10-17T21:01:00.000-05:00

Look closely. What do you see?

That's right. Megan got her ears pierced today. I have to say she did really well. Definitely better than when she got her shots. She cried, but it wasn't nearly as bad and didn't last nearly as long.

Here she was just before getting them pierced. Oh yeah, did I mention she's teething and actually taking a pacifier now? Only took four months to get her to keep one in her mouth for any length of time. Must feel good on her sore gums.

On the count of 3. 1....2....3!

All done!

It's only been a few hours, but so far they don't seem to be bothering her. She hasn't been tugging at them or anything. Now mom & dad are responsible for cleaning and twisting the earrings three times a day for 8 weeks.

October 15 - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

2009-10-15T20:44:00.001-05:00

We were an hour late, but still lit our candles to remember and honor our babies that were too beautiful for this earth. As crazy as our lives are with an infant, we still often think about our first babies.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is a day of remembrance for all pregnancies and infant death which includes but not limited to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or the death of a newborn. It is recognized in the United States and throughout Canada on October 15th of each year.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is observed with Remembrance Ceremonies and candle lighting Vigils which coincides with an International Wave of Light with participants lighting candles on October 15 at 7:00 p.m. around the world to honor and remember our children.

For more information: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day or Remembering Our Babies

She rolls! 4 months 2 days

2009-10-11T19:57:00.001-05:00

Finally all of her hard work has paid off. She's been trying so hard to rollover for the last few weeks and tonight she did it! Yeah Megan!

These were taken right after she rolled over. The first is a little blurry, but she looks so proud of herself. Not optimum shooting conditions, and trying to capture the moment!

We Have a Four Month Old

2009-10-09T22:09:00.013-05:00

Where has the time gone? I've been horrible about updating the blog, but for so long it felt like there really wasn't anything worth posting about. Now that Megan is starting to do more, I'll try to be better about posting more often.

She has her 4 month appointment (with shots) on her actual 4 month birthday. I've been waiting quite a while for an official update to her stats! For the record, she is still an itty bitty peanut!

Height - 24 1/4" 50%
Weight - 11lbs 5oz 10%
Head size - 42 cm 75%

I decided to do her 4 month photos a day early because she would be having her shots and I figured I'd have a better chance at getting some decent pictures. Here are some recent photos.

Some of her recent developmental milestones that she's hit have included giggling, trying (really hard) to rollover, making raspberries and grasping and playing with toys. She is also cooing quite a bit. One of her favorite things is music and us singing to her. She's getting to be so fun to spend time with! Tummy time is no longer such a struggle and she'll actually lay holding her head up for up to 5 minutes at a time. For the past month or so we've been taking stroller rides with her riding in the seat instead of the bucket car seat. She loves this! Sometimes it'll put her to sleep, but usually she's way too busy looking around to be distracted by sleep! Now that the chilly weather is starting to settle in, we're going to have to move our walks to the mall.

Last weekend we took our first long road trip. 430 miles (each way) in the car was too much for her. Going out wasn't too bad, but coming home was not so good. The fact that she still eats every two hours didn't make things any better. What should have been a 6.5 hour drive all of a sudden turns into an almost 10 hour drive with frequent stops for her and meal stops for us. Every time we stopped to feed her it was at least a half an hour. So glad we got that out of the way before winter. There is no way I want to make that drive again anytime soon.

Everyday is something new. I promise I'll try to be better about posting in the future!

Blowing Raspberries is so much fun!

2009-10-07T07:38:00.000-05:00

This is a perfect example of the awesome mood that Megan wakes up in. Bottle is done, it's time to play and make silly noises at or with momma.

September 18 - A Day of Anniversaries

2009-09-18T22:06:00.001-05:00

Not only is September 18th our wedding anniversary, it is also the anniversary of our egg retrieval. The day our little Megan was conceived. What a perfect addition to an already special day in our lives. Oh how our lives have changed in the past year. We feel so blessed.

What a difference a year makes:
Then - Our little Day 5 embryos (actually Sept 23rd). Hard to believe one of these is our Megan.

And Now - Our little almost 15 week old.

3 months - Little Miss Personality

2009-09-09T23:11:00.010-05:00

Another month has passed. It's just unreal how quickly the time seems to be going now that Megan is here.

We have this month off as far as appointments go, so we tried to weigh Megan to at least get some idea of where she's at now that she's 3 months. The bathroom scale said 10lbs. So, she's gained about a pound in the last month..give or take the accuracy of that scale and method.

This month we've discovered so many things. Megan loves making faces at the baby in the mirror. Even better is when you hold her and look at her in the mirror and she looks at you in the mirror too and flashes one of her giant smiles your way.

Stroller rides have been taken to the next level by getting to ride like a big girl without the car seat bucket. She loves to look around and take it all in. You barely hear a peep out of her unless it's some sort of coo or other sound of contentment.

This kid loves music. Lucky for her, daddy likes to sing silly songs to her. He makes her laugh and it's so adorable!

This morning I noticed that she's started doing a fake cough. It's funny, she'll do it and then smile real big. She also makes a sort of kiss sound when you smother her with kisses.

Megan is definitely a social butterfly. I honestly think she likes people watching and taking in her environment. She's generally a really good baby and tolerates being passed around to whoever might want to hold her. I hope she stays this way. I don't want a clingy baby that won't go to other people.

I honestly don't think we could have asked for a better sleeper. We've been working at getting her down between 8:30-9:00 and she's starting to sleep ten hours (more consistently) before she wakes to eat. Then she'll take a bottle and go back down for another 3-4 hours. They say babies at her age should be sleeping an average of 15 hours per day and we're almost getting that in her night sleep. For now, naps are still mostly happening in the swing. We've tried the PnP and crib a few times but she'll only sleep for 45 minutes whereas if we put her in the swing, she might sleep almost two hours.

Photos are definitely a challenge. She has such an amazing smile, yet doesn't like to show it when the camera comes out.

2 Months Old!

2009-08-10T21:36:00.003-05:00

We're here and all is well. Sorry it's been so long between posts. Days pass and weeks just sort of blend together. After having so much to look forward to for so many months, we're really just taking it day by day and trying to enjoy every moment right now.

Today was a big day for Miss Megan. She had her 2 month appointment and that included 3 shots. Poor kiddo. She did fairly well with the shots and I had timed a bottle pretty well to fall during her appointment time, but it was taking them so long to prepare the shots that we ran out of time and patience. Luckily they came in before she had finished so she had a bit left to help comfort her after it was all said and done.

I was anxious to get her on the scale to see how she's doing. I had an idea of where she'd be because I saw a LC a few weeks ago and she put her on the scale with clothes and a diaper on and she was about 8lbs 9ozs.

Here are her updated stats:
Height: 21 3/4" 25%
Weight: 8lbs, 14oz 10%
Head size: 39.2cm 50-75%

These are the numbers from her Day 3 appt:
Height: 18.5" 5-10% (not sure about this as the hospital recorded her as 19" at birth. I doubt that she shrunk.)
Weight: 5lbs 9oz 5-10%
Head size: 34cm 10-25%

Of course one of my questions was are we feeding her enough? We're doing expressed breast milk in bottles for the majority of her feedings so there's a little guess work in figuring out how much she should be taking. As long as she's gaining, they're happy, even if she is only in the 10th percentile for weight. I guess she's just gonna be a peanut. That's okay. Keep her smaller for a little while longer that way.

Our nights just keep getting better and better. Since she had surpassed her birth weight at her 2 week appointment, we were given the okay to let her sleep without waking her for feedings during the night. That meant we were getting 4 hour stretches almost right away. Now a normal night is anywhere from 5.5 to 7 hours. She's pulled one 8 hour night and that was so nice.

She's been smiling for a few weeks now. I love going in to get her in the morning and telling her "Good Morning" because she always flashes one of her big smiles. Sometimes she'll coo and make noises back at me, but that's really just starting. It seems like everyday is something new even if it's something that seems so small like actually holding a rattle that we place in her hands.

We usually take a couple of walks around the neighborhood each week. At first the stroller rides lulled her to sleep, now she's getting to the point where they'll settle her, but she doesn't usually fall asleep anymore. She's still riding in the bucket to the travel system so she really isn't taking things in, but it's still nice to get out for a nice walk.

Here are some recent pictures. I have flickr linked in at the top, but posting pictures will keep something here in the timeline.

6 Weeks - Already!

2009-07-21T21:47:00.007-05:00

How is it possible that our baby girl is 6 weeks old already? I know, that's what I was thinking when I was posting that she was a month old. It's just amazing after having time just drag for so long that it can possibly be going this fast. It doesn't seem possible.

This week I had my postpartum OB appointment. I was able to schedule the appointment with the doctor that did our delivery. She was great. She just kept gushing over Megan saying how cute she was. *blush* I don't know how many babies she's delivered in the last 6 weeks, but she remembered how small she was and how much hair she had. She even mentioned that she thought her hair was darker when she was born. Which is totally true.

As for me, everything is going really well. Of course I cried happy tears when she asked me how things are going and how we're adjusting to life with a baby. After all we've been though, how could I be anything less than happy? Physically, I'm pretty much fully recovered from delivery. I felt like recovery was fairly easy, but with the delivery I had, there wasn't much to recovery from. So I guess this means it's time to return to life as usual. I'm not sure I know exactly what that means, but I do know that it means it's time to start working out again. We've made arrangements for my parents to watch Megan 2-3 times a week so we can go workout. Our fitness center has childcare available, but not until the baby is 3 months old. This will work out well. Grandma and Grandpa will get their baby fix and we can do something good for us at the same time.

I'm breast feeding and in the last few weeks I've started pumping. I don't need a huge freezer stash or anything, but it's nice to have expressed milk available to take if I'm going to be away from home for several hours at a time and of course grandma will need something if she's going to be watching her for a couple of hours at a time. Luckily Megan has been going back and forth between the real thing and bottle with no problem. I have to admit, more often that not, she's getting a bottle lately. It's just so much easier, so much quicker and most importantly, daddy can feed her too. Also, with breast feeding, you really have no idea how much they are eating, so this way at least we have some control over what she's getting and can see that she's getting enough.

In 3 weeks Megan goes back to her doctor again. This appointment will include her first shots. Eeeks. I'm sure it will hurt me more than it'll hurt her. I tried weighing her on our bathroom scale last week and she was 7lbs 9oz (give or take). I'm curious to see what her official weight from the doctor's office will be. She still seems like such a peanut, but she's definitely getting bigger. Some of her newborn stuff is just starting to get too short in length.

Below is a slideshow from her newborn photo session. She was only 3 days old here. I'm so glad we have these pictures from her first few days. She's looks so peaceful. Thanks again to Jessica for capturing our little peanut. Those of you who have the FB My Little Lamb Cradle and Swing might recognize this tune.

1 Month Old!

2009-07-09T20:17:00.002-05:00

This has to have been the quickest passing month I've endured in the last 3 years. After month after month dragging on, this was a pleasant passing of time. Actually, I wanted to slow it down a little. How is it possible that our baby girl is already a month old?
We were lucky to have daddy home for the first 2 weeks. Just long enough to get settled into some sort of schedule. Megan has been a pretty good night time sleeper almost from the start. It wasn't long before she was sleeping 3-4 hours at a time and just the other night slept for a 6.5 hour stretch. At least daddy isn't going into work like a zombie.
When we brought Megan home she had dropped from 6lbs 1oz down to 5lbs 8oz. Our first mission was to plump up that girl! When we took her in the day after she came home, she was already up an ounce to 5lbs 9oz. Because they were concerned about her weight, we had a home healthcare nurse come and see us on our 3rd day at home and according to her scale, Megan was up to 5lbs 13oz. She really seemed to be gaining well after dropping almost 10% from her birthweight. We didn't go back to the doctor until she was 2 weeks old. At that time she was up to 6lbs 6.5oz. I wish we had a way to accurately weigh her here at home. She still feels like a little peanut, so I'm curious what her weight is now. We don't go back to the doctor until she's 2 months old.
As for me, I had a great recovery. I took Ibuprofen for the first few days, but it was more for the sore muscles that I was getting from using my holding, carrying, lifting muscles. My poor arms and back! It's funny how 6 pounds really adds up when you are constantly tending to a new baby. My follow-up appointment is 2 weeks away. Oh, and I've lost all but about 12lbs of my pregnancy weight. The scale hasn't really moved since the first week. Oh well, that will come.
We're starting to work on tummy time. She usually does pretty well for about 5 minutes at a time. So far she only has a few really bright toys that we take out to show her to try to get her attention. We'll keep working on this in the coming weeks building up the time she spends on her tummy.
Besides being a stinker about day time naps, and cluster feeding at night, we really have been blessed with an "easy" baby. She is pretty easy going. I guess my OB was right when she predicted that a quiet baby inutero would turn out to be an easy baby. I hope this characteristic stays with her for many years to come.

And now, in honor of her 1 month birthday, some photos. I have to throw in this 3D u/s picture because it seems to have captured one of her "looks". When I saw the photo with her mouth open, I felt like I had seen that picture before. Her hair is getting crazier the longer it gets!

Where to go from here

2009-06-30T18:39:00.003-05:00

I feel like I'm at a crossroads. I've been blogging as PsychedForBaby for a little over 2 years now.
When I started the blog, I really didn't know if I'd get into it, but blogging has been very therapeutic and definitely helped me through some very physically and emotionally rough times.
Honestly, I don't know how I could have gotten through everything I did if it wasn't for the love and support that I got from friends and strangers that I know only through the online world. There have been so many wonderful comments left over the last 2 years. Somehow the strangers always had the power to pull me out of my darkest moments. I guess that's mostly because it was the strangers that could most closely relate to what I was posting about.
I feel like I'm at a crossroads because I don't know what to do. I love the idea of keeping a blog to continue to document our new life with Megan, but I don't know if this is the place for it. Even to this day, not all of our friends and family know the extent of the struggle that we went through to get our precious Megan. It doesn't seem right to share this blog with them now that we're through all the "bad" stuff and they had no idea it was happening. Also, I don't really feel like I can leave it all behind either. This has been my safe place for so long, it just feels natural to come here and leave updates.
Over to the right there is a link to another blog that I created thinking that would be where I would turn after baby arrived. What I might do is share that blog with family and friends and keep this blog for the select friends and family that already know about it and all my "other friends" who only know me through the online world. I just can't see deleting this blog. I cry just thinking about it. So much so that it's taken me days to get this far in writing this post. This blog has too much important information and such a thorough documentation of our journey and ultimately my pregnancy. Hopefully someday I can share this with Megan so she will know what we went through to have her. So she will know just how much mommy and daddy wanted her and how much we love her.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has been a part of my story for the past 2 years. Anyone who has ever left a comment has left an impact on my heart. For that, I am eternally thankful.
If you have an opinion on the future of The PsychedForBaby Blog, I'd be happy to hear it.

The Infamous Wall Letters

2009-06-21T22:03:00.002-05:00

Since Megan's name was a secret up until her arrival, I wasn't able to post a picture of her wall letters. Now that she's here and the secret is out, here they are.

The letters came unfinished from http://www.woodenletters.net/ We painted them a chocolate brown and then used scrapbook paper in various colors to coordinate with different elements of the room. The paper on the M and n are my favorite. There's a bit of glitter on those and they add so much character pulling in all of the colors. This was a fun project and a fun way to personalize her space.

Last Belly Pics - what was 39w3d

2009-06-21T21:39:00.003-05:00

These photos were taken on Sunday, June 7th in the afternoon. Just about 36 hours before our little one was born. I'm so glad I requested one more set of photos be taken as we really had no idea just how soon the belly would be a thing of the past. From the look on my face in the last photo, I think it was fairly clear that I was ready to be done.

Megan's Speedy Arrival

2009-06-16T17:03:00.007-05:00

For some reason new moms like to exchange all the gory details of their birth stories. Ours is one for the books, that's for sure. And definitely something I won't soon forget.

Monday, June 8th, I was having some contractions throughout the afternoon. I timed them when I could and they were about 12-16 minutes apart, but not really strong and weren't lasting for long. Because I wasn't really experiencing any abdominal cramping along with the contractions, I had kind of written them off as more Braxton Hicks contractions.

Throughout the evening things didn't really change, so we decided to go to bed early in case things changed over night.

By about 9pm, the contractions were averaging 9 minutes apart and getting more intense and accompanied by cramping. We called Labor and Assessment at the hospital and asked when we should come in. Their answer was when the contractions are less than 4 minutes apart.

I tried to rest, daddy stayed up and we measured again a few hours later. Contractions were now more like 6-8 minutes apart. I don't think there was any rest after that. Contractions started to get stronger and stronger and definitely were starting to hurt. By 1am, the contractions were 4-5 minutes apart. I got into the shower and by the time I was out, I could barely function through them. I needed help getting dressed and thankfully daddy got me out the door and into the car.

The car ride to the hospital is only about 10 minutes in which time my contractions were coming on every 2 minutes. We pulled up at Emergency at 2:25am and security wheeled me to Labor and Assessment. I no more than got to the room and was changing out of my clothes when my water broke. The triage nurse did an internal and I was 9+cm dilated and fully effaced. This baby was ready to be born!

After a quick panic that I was too far along to get any drugs, I was transported to the delivery room. By this point contractions were coming one on top of the last and getting much worse. When the labor nurse found out I was 9+cm and fully effaced they wanted me to try a couple of pushes. Baby was right there, and I was probably only 10 minutes from delivering.

Because I was already way more than 5cm dilated I couldn't have an epidural. Luckily I still had the option of an intrathecal which is the same drug that is used in an epidural, given as a one time shot in the back instead of being administered through an IV.

By now it was 3:05am and thankfully those meds took effect right away and took just about all the sensation of the contractions away. I could still feel them, but it was so minor. The meds helped slow things down a bit and bought us a little time for me to relax a bit and most importantly, wait for the doctor.

At 3:30am I started pushing through the contractions. This was a piece of cake after what I had already endured before even getting to the hospital. It was only a few pushes and her head was right there. I pushed for about 30 minutes and then we slowed things down again as we waited for the doctor. Once she was in the room, it was only a couple more pushes and Megan Hope was born at 4:34am on June 9th.

We couldn't believe what a peanut she was. 6lbs 1oz and 19in with a full head of dark hair.

I never in a million years imagined that I would go through labor nearly drug-free. Apparently my pain tolerance is way higher than I ever expected. Who knew I had it in me?

2 Days Old - Going Home

2009-06-11T19:15:00.004-05:00

June 11, 2009. Today is the day we have been counting down towards since October 2, 2008. Today was Megan's due date.
What an amazing feeling. We finally get to bring our baby home. Momma picked out a super cute little Coming Home outfit, but obviously thought Megan was going to be much bigger than she was. Oh well, she still looked absolutely adorable for her 10 minute car ride home from the hospital. We'll have to wait until she grows a bit and then try it again.

39w5d - Birthday!

2009-06-09T13:17:00.003-05:00

Announcing: MEGAN HOPE

She's here! Our little blessing arrived two days early on Tuesday, June 9, at 4:34 am. She weighed 6 lb, 1 oz and was 19 inches. Just a little peanut.
Those of you who have followed us along our journey know how much we have counted on Hope pulling us through all the challenges along the way. Little did we know three years ago when we picked out the name Megan, it would turn out that one of it's meanings would be Great. So here she is, our Great Hope.

39w0d - Still Cookin'

2009-06-04T17:24:00.002-05:00

What can I say? Baby girl just isn't ready to make her debut yet.

At my appointment last week I had made some more progress from 2 weeks before. Yesterday, we didn't even look. I know my cervix is thinning to about 80% effaced, but dilation is slow coming. I was only up to about 1.5-2cm so that barely even changed.

We actually talked more about what happens if she doesn't come by her due date, and just how long will they let me go over. My OB has said all along that they'll let me go to 42wks, but now that doesn't necessarily seem to be the case. Granted, if I get to 40w1d, they aren't going to rush me in, but at least I know that I'm not looking at June 25th as an end date either.

As the days go by, I'm getting more and more pressure, and feeling it lower and lower but not enough to trigger things. For the most part, I'm still fairly comfortable despite being 39wks pregnant and having a baby butt smashed up against my belly for the majority of the day!

Anyone want to start a baby pool and put your guess out there as to when YOU think baby will come? Official due date is June 11th.

38w0d - No baby yet

2009-05-28T14:54:00.011-05:00

It's a good thing I did some research and found that just because you lose your mucus plug doesn't mean that labor is imminent. It'll be 3 weeks tomorrow since that happened. From what I read, it could happen almost immediately, or be 6 weeks for labor to start. Well, at least we're half way there. I think I'd be pretty disappointed by now if I didn't know in the back of my head that it did say it could be 6 weeks.

Oh well - each day that baby stays inside is another day to work on her furniture and get the room organized. As of last night, both dressers are done and in the room! Now for the book case. Here are some pictures, before and after alongside the crib. The finish on the dressers isn't as solid as the crib, but the colors are a great match. How could you cover up that awesome Maple detail? We still need to pick up the changing pad for the top of the shorter dresser which will become our changing station. The top drawer on the shorter dresser is a little bit lighter because of the wood grain, but due to the morning sun coming into the room, these pictures make it look a little more extreme than it really is. The top of the tower looks really light too, and that really isn't the case at all.

Tomorrow I have another OB appointment. I just hope she has some good news for me as far as progress goes. We didn't check last week, so we're looking at 2 weeks worth of time to do something. Fingers crossed that I leave with at least a little bit of news. Something. Anything? We're only a few days away from June. Maybe baby girl is waiting to get out of May so she doesn't have an Emerald birthstone. Hmmmm? Maybe.

37w0d - Full Term!

2009-05-21T14:05:00.004-05:00

Wow! What a milestone. Definitely something HUGE that calls for a trip to our favorite Mexican restaurant tonight. The last big thing that we "celebrated" was finding out the gender. Of course we've been there since January, but today definitely needs to be called out in a special way.

Yesterday I was back to the OB, but it was just another really quick appointment. No internal exam this time, so we have no idea if there has been any additional progress made since last week. Baby girl was wide awake and making her presence known at 4:30am. (She definitely gets that from daddy's side, not me.) Finally, some really strong constant movements to report after talking about monitoring kick counts just the week before. Heck, I don't think she took a nap all day. Well, at least not a very long one. I was feeling her all throughout the day. This is quite unusual. But I love it! Hard to believe, that feeling will be gone very soon. I'm really getting anxious as I see some of the girls from the Nest who are due after me going into labor and having their babies. I know it can happen anytime now, but might not happen for five more weeks. I hope I'm not one of those girls that goes two weeks over. That would be torture!

It's a long weekend for Memorial Day. Wonder if this will be our last weekend just the two of us. I think about how far we've come in the last year. Just about this time last year was when IVF #1 was cancelled because I wasn't suppressed enough and ovulated through the pill. We had been scheduled in the days right around Memorial Day for egg retrieval and transfer. We are in a much happier place this year, that's for sure!

I just posted a new picture two weeks ago, but as the end comes closer, I want to share another one. What do you think? Does baby looks a lot lower this week? I've had this sweater on for a lot of my pictures and it's fun to see how the belly has changed over the weeks. Looking back, it would have been fun to see the changes wearing the same shirt every week. Look at that belly!

Last official update. What's happening with baby: Weeks 37-Delivery (Month 9): Watermelon 18.9-20.9in, 6.2-9.2lbs

At week 37, your pregnancy is considered full term, meaning baby is likely to thrive after birth. Baby spends these last weeks in preparation for the outside world… meaning careful refinement of the blink, suck, inhale and exhale. Meconium, which you’ll probably find in the first diaper, is accumulating in the intestines. If (okay, as) you worry about giving birth, consider what it’s like for the little one. During the journey out of your womb, baby will produce more stress hormones than any other time in life.

36w0d - 4 weeks to go!

2009-05-14T14:13:00.004-05:00

Baby steps. That's what we're taking. Baby steps in getting the room ready, working on the furniture, running baby clothes through the laundry and making progress as far as my body getting ready for baby to arrive.

As of last weekend, we're both driving around with car seat bases installed in our cars. One more thing to check off the list! Daddy needed something to do while I was getting tags cut off of things that were going into the laundry and organizing items by sizes.

I've been trying to do a little in the room every few days. Going through stuff, putting some of it into the closet, figuring out what we'll need right away, etc. So far I've done 2 loads of baby laundry. Most of the NB to 3-6 months clothes are washed and either hung or folded and waiting for a drawer to be placed in. Today I worked on some of the blankets, boppy covers, burp cloths, pack-n-play sheet and that sort of odd stuff. These tiny little things make for a big load pretty quickly. I'm thinking it might be time to put together the baby swing and the bouncer and make a list of all the batteries that are going to be needed for these items.

The furniture is coming along nicely. It's a slow process, but through baby steps, it's getting done. Just about every night it comes along a little further. Oh well, it's a labor of love from daddy to his little girl.

Another week down, and another OB appointment. Things continue to go well. I actually managed to lose a pound this week. I think that's because I've been a lot better about making sure I get my feet up for at least a couple of hours in the evening. Last week I know I was still bloated from the day before. (Oh yeah, that's not the only thing I lost. Last Friday I lost my mucus plug. See, things are progressing!)

Since I didn't have my own doctor last week, I had another internal check today. Not much change as far as that goes. The internal exam wasn't nearly as painful as last time. Can't imagine how that's possible. Maybe it was just that I was prepared for it, and there wasn't the shock factor like last time! We talked about waiting for the 38th week to do one again. Fine by me!

I asked the doctor if she could estimate baby's weight right now, and she thinks she's about 5-5.5lbs. Knowing that babies put on about a half a pound a week, I'll be curious to see how good she is at estimating that. I'm still hoping she comes in on the slightly smaller side. I'm not that big of a girl! Now that I'm 36 weeks, if I go into labor, they won't do anything to stop it. Next week I'll be considered full-term. How's that for a milestone?

35w0d = 35 Days Left

2009-05-07T20:52:00.005-05:00

(or something like that!)

It's happened. My first case of heartburn. It actually wasn't that bad. The worst thing was that it hit in the middle of the night. Oh well, making it beyond 34 weeks without any is a pretty good record. And it was nothing that couldn't be cured/prevented by taking a couple of Tums before bed and elevating my pillow a little bit.

Can I just say, I'm so glad baby will be here before the heat and humidity really strike. Yesterday I had my first real experience with puffy feet and hands. It was definitely uncomfortable to walk, and my ankle was not so happy. Luckily, after a few hours in the recliner with my feet up, the swelling had gone down before I went bed.

Today was another OB appointment. Since the swelling just started yesterday, I made sure to mention it. She looked at my ankle and said as long as the swelling goes down by morning, I don't really have to be concerned. I'm still not showing any protein or sugar in my urine. After the swelling, I was afraid that maybe some protein would show up this week. Nope. They also re-ran my Hemoglobin level. At 28wks it was a little low at 11.5, today it was up to 13. They like to see it at 12 in pregnancy, so it seems that the supplements are helping a bit. Today I also had my first internal exam. Yikes! I had become accustomed to the internal ultrasounds, but boy, this was intense compared to that! Why hasn't anyone mentioned how uncomfortable that was going to be? Not that it means much at this point, but I'm 1cm dilated and my cervix is thinning. Good news - baby is definitely head down! The doctor said she could feel the top of her head. Guess that also means she's pretty low. Yeah! So, the majority of the movements I'm feeling must be coming from her actually kicking around in there. The way she's positioned, her butt is right at the top of my belly and seems to be what gets in the way of my breathing and eating.

Looking back, it's been 6 weeks since I've posted an updated belly pic. Sure there were shower pics, but none that showed off the full on side view of the belly. Some days I feel like I'm still just tiny, but that's mostly when I'm looking straight down at it. I guess the side view makes me feel like I'm a little bigger, but I certainly don't feel HUGE! According to the OB, I'm measuring right on at 35wks.

I can't believe we are down to only about a month left. There is still so much to do before little one arrives. Eeeks!

34w0d - We Have Furniture!!!

2009-04-30T12:02:00.010-05:00

Finally. After 13+ weeks, we have furniture. So glad we ordered them "early" back when I was 20wks. That was January 25th. Now the fun of finishing it begins!

These aren't the greatest pictures. It's hard to take pictures in a garage with limited space and lighting. The pieces are all a really light Maple. We'll call these the before photos.

The lingerie tower.

We'll use this one as the changing table.

And a corner bookcase for lots of storage.

It's been a pretty quiet week. I picked up some flannel material and made some burp cloths. One yard of each color and I got 8 burp cloths. I wasn't expecting to get that many, so that was a pretty good deal. And the fabric was only about $7.00.

I'm thinking it's about time to start washing some of baby's stuff. Of course we're still limited on storage space until the dressers get done, but I could at least stack things in the closet as they get washed. Besides, it'll be fun to go through the clothes that she has again and get them organized into sizes and see what kind of stuff she still needs right away. We did really good on not buying many clothes as we expected we'd get quite a few as gifts. Now I feel like I could go pick out a couple of things out for her.

Next week I'll have another OB appointment and update to follow. Hopefully there is something to update on! I don't see my regular doctor next week, I had to schedule with someone I haven't seen before. Hope I like her as much as my regular doctor!

33w2d - Generosity

2009-04-25T13:45:00.013-05:00

Last weekend was my baby shower. It's just amazing to see the generosity of family and friends when it comes to a new baby. We got so many wonderful gifts. The time that had to go into each of the handmade gifts that we received really shows how much people love us and our baby girl. Included in the handmade gifts were several blankets, quilts, burp cloths and baby booties.

The shower was a great way to see so many friends and family that we don't get to see all that often. Here are a few pictures from the day:

We made these awesome cookies.

Lite Lunch, Minnesota style - Look at all the food! Plus two crock pots on the back counter top with the meat for hot sandwiches.

'Lil pup even got to be part of the festivities. He did pretty well with so many people and a lot of commotion going on.

Playing Baby Shower themed BINGO.

Dad was even thought about while picking out gifts.

Super cute cake copied to match the invites.

Me with my wonderful hostesses. Thanks again girls!

This week I had my 33wk OB appointment. Everything is still moving along nicely. The doctor thinks that little girl is in a head down position despite what I feel really high in my belly which feels really hard and round like it could be a head. If there is any question at the next appointment, they may send me for an ultrasound just to make sure we know what we are dealing with. Obviously a breech baby would bring a lot of different decisions. Next appointment in two weeks, then we move on to weekly appointments from there! It's so crazy to think that we could have a baby in about 6 weeks! (I'm hoping to go a little early...a girl can dream, right?)

What's happening with baby: Weeks 33-36 (Month 8): Honeydew 17.2-18.7in, 4.2-5.8lbs

Baby’s senses are continuing to improve -- when light peeks in through your (extremely) stretched belly, those tiny eyelids and irises blink and dilate. And, baby can now recognize and react to simple songs… time to start practicing your lullabies! Growth (at least inside your womb) is starting to slow, and you may notice baby descend into your pelvis at the end of this month.

32w0d - Spare Some Change?

2009-04-16T19:03:00.000-05:00

Baby girl already has her first piggy bank. This was a fun project that I did a couple of weekends ago. There's a paint your own pottery place here in town and I was able to customize the finish to match the room and decor. The base color is the palest yellow which matches the crib blanket (you can see it sitting on the blanket in the pictures) and the polka dots also pull the rest of the colors from the bedding. It's fun having a few of these projects to help personalize her space.

Just for reference, here's the bedding:

Believe it or not, we are still waiting on the nursery furniture. When we ordered it, we were told 6-8 weeks. This Sunday will be 12 weeks. Turns out the people who are making it are just a small 2 person company and they found themselves swamped with orders and have gotten way behind. Unfortunately, at this point, we can't even get an estimated arrival date. Now that we're down to 8 weeks! and the weather is nice, we're itching to get the furniture so we can get it finished. Oh yeah, it's coming unfinished, so even after it comes, it isn't going straight to the room. At least baby girl has a crib to sleep in. We might just have to make due without the dressers and book shelf for a while.

Next week it's back to the doctor. Hopefully it'll be another quick appointment with nothing but good news. For the most part, I'm still feeling fantastic. Every now and then baby girl stretches out and uses up every bit of space she has, and that hurts a bit, but other than that, still no real complaints. I just can't believe I'm down to about 8 weeks left.

31w0d - Window treatment is DONE!

2009-04-09T20:29:00.008-05:00

That wasn't so bad. A couple of weekends worth of time spent and we have a pretty decent looking Roman Shade for baby's room. Not bad for our first attempt, huh? We used a heavy outdoor canvasy material that had our bedding colors (almost perfect!) in it and then a white flannel type of thermal lining for the shade. These are a few pictures taken early this morning. While it isn't room darkening, it really blocks out a lot of light and there is never direct sunlight coming in as it's a northern exposure window.

Here's another little project that we worked on. I may have mentioned this a while ago when we were working on the wall letters. This is a replica of a wall plaque that my aunt had made for me for my baptism. It's a verse that I have had memorized for years and years. I thought it would be appropriate to recreate it for my own daughter's room.

I know it's hard to read, so here is the text:

A daughter's a blessing from heaven above
First sent as a precious small bundle of love...

A blessing that grows in both sweetness and size
Through years that so soon are a memory to prize...

A blessing of happiness when she is grown
And proving her worth in a life of her own...

A blessing that always can brighten the day
Regardless of whether she's close or away!

As a baby, a tot, a teenager, a wife,
A daughter's a dear - She's a BLESSING FOR LIFE!

This was week 4 of 6 in our child birth classes. We went on a tour of the hospital and got a good feel for where everything happens. Hopefully we won't have any false alarm trips before the big day!

As for me, no appointments this week or next. I've been sleeping pretty well again lately. Being awake for 2 hours after getting up to go to the bathroom seems to have stopped...at least for now. Sometimes breathing becomes a challenge as baby is definitely using all the room she has in there. For the most part I'm still pretty comfortable, but every now and then she gets into a position that nearly takes my breath away. Unfortunately, both driving and riding in the car is getting less and less comfortable. Not to mention when we are out running a bunch of errands and I have to get in and out of the car multiple times. Oh well, still not complaining, just giving some facts!

Next weekend is my shower. A shower? For me? Wow! I'm really excited and so thankful for my friends that are hosting it. I can't wait to see everyone. We're having it at our house, but unfortunately the nursery furniture still hasn't come in, so we don't have a cute finished room to show off. Oh well, what can you do?

30w1d - Alien belly

2009-04-03T15:16:00.003-05:00

This week is marked with another first. Alien belly started a few days ago. It's so weird to look down and see my belly moving. She must wake up from a nap around 1pm and shortly after is moving all about. This has been the case for the last 3 or 4 days now. Today I was at my parents when it happened. Boy did they think that was the coolest thing. They both put their hand on my belly and felt some good movements. Wasn't it nice that she cooperated for them!

I had an OB appointment this morning. Unfortunately I couldn't get in to see my regular doctor and ended up scheduling with someone different. This doctor definitely lacks in the personality department...I hope she isn't the OB on duty when it comes time to deliver. She wasn't running late by any means, but didn't really make any time for anything outside the scheduled visit either. Short, sweet and to the point. Blood pressure, good. Weight, good. Urine, good. Measurements, good. Baby's heart rate, good. Any questions?

Being that I didn't see the doctor after the results of the Glucose test last time but the nurse told me my Hemoglobin was a little low and I should take iron, I did ask about that. My number was just over 10, which falls into that borderline category. She said I could probably get by with taking the Iron supplement once every three days, but definitely don't need to take it daily. That's a relief that I'm not in a dangerous category.

My next appointment is in 3 weeks, then we are looking at weekly appointments from there out.

Next week as part of our child birth classes we'll take a tour of the hospital. If how close we are doesn't feel more real after that, I don't know what it'll take!

There is still so much to do over the next 10 or so weeks. Crazy how fast the time has gone so far and I'm sure that will continue right up to the end.

29w0d

2009-03-26T21:03:00.003-05:00

Not much new to report this week after I snuck in a quick post on Monday. We had child birth class #2, but that's about it. Things just keep chuggin' along.

Baby is definitely moving around so that I feel her a lot more lately. My OB doesn't teach "kick counts" but says to pay attention to when you feel baby and if you know they are usually more active after meal time, be aware of their movements at that time. A lot of people say cold water or sweets will get the little one moving, but for me it seems to be warm stuff. She sure likes hot tea and hot soup. Those are for sure to get her going. I'm starting to notice that she's often awake when I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I'll come back to bed and feel her moving around. This could be contributing to the hard time I've been having getting back to sleep, but it's fun to be able to feel those movements too.

I feel like I'm overdue for an updated belly pic. It's been 5 weeks already. Here's a new one taken just today. This sweater was one of the first maternity purchases I made, so I'm glad to see that it still fits. It's getting shorter and tighter, but I think it's still cute.

We're into a new month now, so finally an update on baby's status.
What's happening with baby: Weeks 29-32 (month 7): Squash 15.2 - 16.7in, 2.5-3.8lbs

Baby’s energy is surging, thanks to the formation of white fat deposits beneath the skin. (Have those kicks and jabs to the ribs tipped you off yet?) Baby is also settling into sleep and waking cycles, though -- as you’ve also probably noticed -- they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. Also this month, all five senses are finally functional, and the brain and nervous system are going through major developments.

28w4d - It's Here!

2009-03-23T21:18:00.003-05:00

And as Gretchen said about her new laptop, "It's Pink!!!!".

It's the new Bella pattern from Chicco. We were able to pre-order from an online sales company in California. I had called to check on the status of our order and found out that these are so new that the store hadn't even seen one yet. Apparently lots of people were doing the same thing. We were the 7th order in their original order of 8, and they were getting in another shipment of 28 that were also nearly all spoken for already.

Most importantly, this travel system came very well packed, with no broken parts or pieces laying at the bottom of the box.

Mr. Brown, as I like to call our UPS man, is so nice. I had a little warning from our dog that he was coming so I met him at the door and he brought it in and set it in our entry way. He's nice that way if we get a real heavy or large package delivered.

Assembly was nice and easy, maybe took me about 20 minutes total. Our little lady has a pretty awesome looking ride waiting for her, don't you think?

So, if you spot a cute little pink and gray stroller out and about this summer, it just might be us. I am so excited for the time of year that our little girl is expected. Hopefully we'll be able to get out and take some nice walks before it gets too hot for her.

28w1d - I Passed!!!

2009-03-20T11:53:00.007-05:00

Today was my Glucose Tolerance Test and I passed. They were looking for 140 or under, and my number was 101! I'm so excited! My hemoglobin is a little low though, so I picked up a bottle of Iron to help with that. I made sure to ask the pharmacist if there is such a thing as too much Iron in pregnancy and she assured me that since my OB said to get extra Iron, that the extra 361% in 1 tablet wouldn't be too much as some people actually take 3 tablets a day. That number just sort of freaked me out for a second!

Despite what my mother keeps telling me, Baby Girl is measuring right on (well, at least the belly is) at just over 28cm. My mom keeps saying that I'm huge. I don't feel huge by any means. Baby girl must have gotten a bit of a sugar rush after I drank the Glucose drink because her heart rate was a bit higher than it has been lately at 156/bpm and she was moving quite a bit while I waited for the test hour to be up.

The doctor felt around a bit trying to find her, but couldn't tell what position she is in. So now I'll actually be going back in 2 weeks because when I scheduled the next appointment last time, it ended up being 5 weeks out and being firmly into the 3rd trimester, they don't like to go so long between appointments. So, we're adding an appointment in 2 weeks, I'll go 3 weeks after that, then only one more 2 week appointment and then the weekly appointments start! I have appointments booked through the end of May! That only leaves two more weeks before her due date! Eeeks! Time is really starting to go fast now!

And finally, the quilt is done! I didn't end up quilting it like I wanted to. Instead, it's just tied. So while I'm happy to have completed my first quilt, it isn't everything that I had hoped for. Next time I'll have the experience of this one behind me and that should help with the overall project. One thing we noticed was that there wasn't enough contrast in the colors so I added the applique butterflies to the center piece to give it a little 'pop'. Here it is.

27w0d - Leaping into the 3rd Trimester

2009-03-12T13:53:00.005-05:00

Wow. 3rd tri? Already? I realize I still have approximately 13 weeks to go, but that just seems crazy! I'm seriously 2/3 done with this pregnancy? Not sure what kind of changes to expect over the next 13 weeks, but I guess I'm ready. At least I'm feeling baby and actually feel pregnant now. I was starting to feel like a fraud with a big ol' bloated belly!

Last weekend I took the DVD and pictures of the 3D/4D ultrasound over to my parents so they could see them. Poor grandma was just a mess and couldn't hold back the tears. She had never seen a 3D ultrasound before, and just couldn't stop looking at the photos. She must have gone through them at least a dozen times. Grandpa thought it was pretty cool too, but he wasn't nearly as emotional as grandma. It's just amazing to see how loved this little one is already. Seeing their reaction to the video was incredible. Grandma kept saying how cute she is.

For the most part, it's been a pretty quiet week for us. No appointments or fun ultrasounds. Next week I have my 28wk appointment which will include the Glucose Tolerance Test. Hopefully that goes well.

Next week we also start our childbirth classes. That'll keep us busy one night a week for the next six weeks. By the time classes are over, that will bring us to almost 33 weeks! Eeeks!

So my new thing lately is that my body has gotten into this horrible pattern where if I wake up to use the bathroom between 1-3am, I'm probably going to be awake for a good hour, maybe even two. Is this some crazy way that my body is getting ready for midnight wake up calls or something? It isn't that I'm uncomfortable or in pain. I just can't get back to sleep.

Our furniture should be coming in anytime now. It's been 6 weeks and they said 6-8 weeks. We really need to get some warmer weather to come our way. We won't be able to do any staining if it doesn't start to warm up. I don't think it's advisable to stain in 20º weather.

No new updates on baby now that they are for a month at a time. All I can say is that I am definitely feeling her a lot more. This morning before I got up was the first time that I had a really high "kick" that made me think that maybe rib pain would be coming soon. Oh the things to look forward to.

25w6d - Hello Baby

2009-03-05T08:06:00.003-06:00

Over the last two weeks, I've finally started to feel our little girl moving around quite a bit more. I can't believe some people feel this as early as 15wks! Just lastnight daddy finally got to feel a couple of really hard kicks. I'm glad it didn't take 4 weeks from when I really started feeling them for him to be able to.

We had decided after my last OB appointment to go in and have a 3D/4D ultrasound done. While the doctor wasn't exactly worried about lack of movement, she knew it give us more peace of mind and had no problem referring me to have another one done. Since I was going to be sent for one anyways, we decided it would be more fun to see her in 3D. I actually scheduled the appointment before the movements started to get more regular and noticable.

Today was the day that we got another look at our little girl. I scheduled it half way between my 24wk and 28wk appointments.

It was so amazing to see her today. She is moving around so much, I can't believe I'm not constantly feeling her. She kept playing with her umbilical cord. We saw her yawn and stick out her tongue, we caught a picture that looks like it could be a smile, and one that looks like she's giving a raspberry. From the 3D view it looked like she was rubbing her eyes, but when the shot was flipped back to 2D you could see her hands weren't as close to her face as it appeared. Best of all, she wasn't shy in the least in showing us her goods and letting us know that she's still all girl and didn't grow any boy parts in the last 6 weeks.

This kid looks to have some big cheeks on her. I can't wait to see her in person and find out who she looks like and get to know her true personality.

25w4d - Take a Lesson from Us

2009-03-02T07:53:00.003-06:00

As mentioned in a previous post, our hunt for a stroller has been interesting. Since we wanted a non-neutral color/design, maybe it was our mistake in even looking at strollers before we knew the gender.

From the beginning of our search we found one that we absolutely loved, should our baby be a girl. It had pink in it, but not too much pink to look like a little girl's doll stroller. And then there was the more neutral purple and gray one. Definitely not as girlie, but we could have been happy with it.

Then big day came where we found of the gender. It's a Girl - yeah! Let the shopping begin! We returned to the store where we originally found the cute but not too frilly pink and brown stroller. It was gone! Aakk! Store clerk said it was discontinued, but the manufacturer's website might have more choices.

That's when we found Isabella. The super cute light purple and light gray travel system. I placed my order only to get a notification a few days later that my order could not be fulfilled. That is when I called the customer service department and thought we had reached the end of our hunt for a stroller as they were going to send one out to me.

Well, they did send one out to us, but it was broken in the box. :( What? Are you kidding me? The outside of the box didn't look like it had been through any more than any other box we get delivered, but the insides of the box told a different story. There were pieces of cardboard shoved in obviously not protecting anything. Had this item been returned? When we pulled the stroller out there were several small pieces laying on the bottom of the box. Sure enough, the mechanism that adjusts the handle height was broken.

I couldn't believe it. After all we had been through to get this stroller, and it came broken. I called customer service again and explained the condition of the item. They were going to send me a return label and once they had my return, they would process an exchange. A week later we finally had the return label and dropped it off so that it still went out that night.

A week later I hadn't heard anything about the status of my return, so I again called customer service. They had indeed received my return, but it hadn't been processed yet. One more week and I called again. Due to the low inventory of my item and the delay in processing my return, there were no more Isabella's in stock. They were issuing a credit for the item.

Somewhere along the way we went back to the store to take another look at that other purple and gray one that we sort of liked. That too was discontinued and no longer in the store. Sigh.

After running around a bit and looking at a few different travel systems at a few more stores, we found nothing. We did have a better idea of what we for sure didn't want. Once we got home, the online search continued. We found another that we really like and placed a pre-order. Apparently this one isn't coming out until early to mid-March. Considering today is already March 2nd, it shouldn't be long now. Fingers crossed all goes well with this order.

I'll wait to supply details on this new one until we have it in hand, all in one piece and thoroughly inspected.

So, the lesson to be learned here is if you see something you really like, BUY IT! It may be gone by the next time you get to the store.

25w0d

2009-02-26T21:00:00.008-06:00

Wow - what a difference a week makes! Last Monday I was still just barely feeling any sort of movements or kicks, and now this week, I'm feeling them quite frequently. Unfortunately, still nothing hard enough that Mr can feel them. I really hope it doesn't take 4 weeks for him to start feeling them. That's the reference my OB gave me. Once I start feeling them, it should be about 4 weeks before they can be felt from the outside.

I've decided baby likes hot meals. Especially soup. Boy did she get active when I finished my Chicken Wild Rice soup yesterday! Since that's my absolute favorite soup, I thought it was pretty cute that she'd get super active afterwards. She must have enjoyed it too.

Since I did a show and tell of my diaper bag, I thought I'd include a couple of pictures of the daddy on the go bag. It's the Little Tripper by Land's End. He's got the black one with the red front. It seems like a pretty cool daddy bag. It's kind of small, but looks like it'll hold a lot. Perfect for those quick trips with daddy.

Project land is growing and growing. I still haven't made any more progress on the quilt. We had a little trouble with the wall letters and added a window covering to the ever growing list of things we want to do. Good thing we still have plenty of time before baby comes. We just might get through everything with time to spare. Maybe.

What's happening with baby: Weeks 25-28 (month 6): Eggplant 13.6 - 14.8in, 1.5 - 2.2lbs

Let your spouse put an ear to your belly -- he might be able to pick up baby's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving baby a healthy pink glow. Baby's also soaking up your antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and baby will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.

Watch the belly grow

2009-02-20T22:32:00.000-06:00

The quality isn't the greatest, but here I am. Me and my growing belly!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

24w0d - Was that a kick?

2009-02-19T19:29:00.003-06:00

Finally! It's about time little one. I was starting to think all you ever did was sleep. Just this week I'm finally starting to feel a little something going on in there. It's about time dangit! I've waited long enough!

I had my OB appointment on Monday and at that point, I still hadn't really felt much. Being we've already seen baby several times and know she isn't missing any limbs, the doctor wasn't all too worried. Just figured it would come in time. She thinks I may just have a really mellow baby. (Which would be just how I was.) A little reassurance for the day was hearing the heartbeat again. Still hanging in there at 150bpm. Once again, everything looks like it's progressing right on track. This was the first time they did a belly measurement and I was just a little over 23cm, which was also perfect for 23w4d. I mentioned the finger prick blood insulin test that I did last week, and she said if I do that well on the Glucose Tolerance Test I'll be in good shape! That's encouraging.

It feels like we are at a standstill as far as projects go. It's still about 3-4 weeks before the furniture will be in, and who knows if it will be warm enough to actually get the staining done when it does arrive. Let's hope! I'm very slowly making progress on my quilt. Right now I've got it to the point of being basted and ready to be quilted, so I am getting there. Today the wooden letters arrived for my wall letters project. (Sorry, I won't be able to share pictures of that project with you.) I have to get those painted and ModPodged with a scrapbook paper overlay along with a wall plaque with a Daughter saying that I had on my wall when I was little. Maybe working on all these little things will help pass the time a bit.

Whenever someone asks me how I'm doing or how I'm feeling, all I can say is "I feel great!". I'm starting to notice a little shortness of breath from time to time, but other than that, I really have nothing to complain about. (Now that I'm feeling baby a little more I can cross that complaint off my list.)

Can you believe I'm just a couple of weeks away from the THIRD trimester!? Wow - that's just crazy.

By the way, totally feeling baby throughout writing this post!

23w1d - Valentine's Day weekend

2009-02-13T14:45:00.006-06:00

This is it. Our last Valentine's Day as a family of two. To celebrate, we'll be having a quiet dinner in. Mister is in charge of dinner - my only request was a repeat of the dessert he made me for our 1st Valentine's Day together six years ago.

Zabaglione
[zah-bahl-YOH-nay]

One of Italy's great gifts to the rest of the world, zabaglione is an ethereal dessert made by whisking together egg yolks, wine (traditionally MARSALA) and sugar. This beating is done over simmering water so that the egg yolks cook as they thicken into a light, foamy custard. Traditional zabaglione must be made just before serving. (There is also a frozen version.) The warm froth can be served either as a dessert by itself or as a sauce over cake, fruit, ice cream or pastry.

It's been a pretty quiet week. After some frustration with my quilt project, my mom came over and helped get me back on track. Overall, I'm pretty happy with my first project, but the perfectionist in me isn't so happy with all of the intersection points. Oh well, live and learn.

While we aren't usually night owls, last weekend we did have a night that we didn't get home until close to midnight. That gave me my first real encounter with the feeling that baby was doing some sort of acrobatics. That was definitely cool to feel. Now I wonder if she's always active at night and it's still too subtle that it isn't enough to wake me up. This week I had a few more sensations from time to time, but really nothing that I can predict or encourage in any way. I'm starting to get impatient waiting for this!

Next week I have my 24wk appointment. Hopefully it goes as smoothly as the rest of them have. Then, next time, at 28wks, I have to do the Glucose Tolerance Test to check for gestational diabetes. When my mom was here yesterday, we checked my blood sugar level about an hour and a half after I had eaten lunch and it was 110. She said that was really good, but what will "they" say?

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not really into bags or purses. I buy a purse and keep it for several years. After some of the girls on our local board kept telling about the awesome deals they were finding on Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bags, I had to go see for myself. I found the Boxy Backpack in Wisteria Roll at a local TJMaxx. So what if it's a discontinued color? It made it about 1/3 the cost of a 2009 style one! I think it is sufficiently girly, for sure! Here it is:

22w1d - Nursery in progress

2009-02-06T14:34:00.075-06:00

What an amazing feeling. After waiting so long to even be able to decorate a nursery, we have finally started. Last weekend was paint and assembling the crib (minus a mattress). It's hard to truly see the color in the pictures, but the wall color matches perfectly to the light peach color in the bedding.

The first picture is taken with the flash on - and the second with the ceiling light and what daylight was left at about 5pm. Once we get the mattress in there that will pull even more of the peach look vs pink as the crib sheet is solid peach.

This week I also pulled out my baby quilt project that I started before the holidays. This is my first attempt at any sort of quilt, so it's been interesting. I got all the blocks sewn together to form rows, now I just need to get the rows sewn together in sections to make the top. We'll see how long it takes me to finish. I was on a good roll yesterday and did 10 of the 11 rows. It should hopefully go quickly once I get to it. Oh yeah, and it will go really well with the Isabella stroller too!

Here's what it looked like laid out on our bed.

And since this post has a bunch of pictures, how about a new belly shot. This was taken today. I feel like this shirt isn't gonna make it much longer, it's already getting really short. Oh well, hopefully we'll be getting into some warmer weather here soon so I can dig into that pile of short sleeve tops my mom gave me.

I still have over a week before my next appointment. It's nice to not be running all the time, but sometimes 4 weeks seems like so long between appointments. I'm still not feeling a whole lot of movement, just an occasional brush against my inside. Certainly nothing that would be classified as a "kick". Every night before bed daddy gets in a little bonding time and rubs my cocoa butter massage lotion on my belly. One night as he was rubbing the outside, I could definitely feel something rubbing back from the inside.

What's happening with baby: Weeks 21-24 (Month 5): Papaya 10.5 to 11.8 in, 12.7 to 20.8 oz

Watch what you say -- baby is now able to hear outside noise from down in the womb. Studies show that baby finds gentle music and your own voice most soothing. Nipples are starting to sprout, and that little face is fully formed. And, baby's starting to settle into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when -- just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop.

21w0d - Week of crazy events

2009-01-29T15:54:00.087-06:00

Long story short, do not fall in love with baby bedding before you are even pregnant.

The bedding I really wanted for a girl has long since been discontinued. What do you expect, it's been like 3 years! Before we knew the gender, I started doing some online searching and found a few new contenders. When gender was confirmed GIRL last week, we decided on one of them.

I was pretty excited as I had really come to like the idea of the bright pink and orange flowers. The bedding is part of the new spring line and isn't even in stores yet. Late last week it was available on Target.com with FREE shipping. Yeah! I went ahead and ordered it. My order confirmation came and it said the item wouldn't be shipped until mid-February to early-March. Oh well. We'll still have plenty of time. That was Wednesday. Friday comes along and I get an email saying my item has shipped and that it will arrive on Monday! Sweet!

Monday comes along and I'm super excited to get the bedding. Ughhhh - I open the package and the bedding looks nothing like it does in the pictures online. Online it looks like the bedding is white, the bedding I received is clearly blue.

On the left you have the bedding I was expecting, and on the right, the package that arrived.

Luckily ordering through Target.com, you can easily return the item to a local store.

Tuesday night we returned the bedding and also picked up our crib. We decided on the Graco Lauren in Espresso:

After the disappointment with the bedding, the hunt was back on. We found a couple that were high on the list, but before any decision was made, we did one more search for that long standing favorite. Viola! There it was. Amazing. One item in stock in a shop in WI! This was late Monday night, the bedding arrived on Wednesday! Perfect in every way, just as I had imagined it.

We went straight over to the paint store and selected the wall color. I can't wait to see it all come together! Did I mention this is going to be a totally girly room!?

Second crazy story of the week. We started looking at a few of the big items that we might want to add to our registry. This was a few weeks ago before we knew what the gender was. We had selected a travel system that would be perfect for a boy and another that would be perfect for a girl. Wouldn't you know it, we went to start our registry and the girl one was gone. We talked to someone who worked in the area and she said that one had been discontinued, and that they didn't know what would be coming in to replace it. She suggested we go to gracobaby.com and look at the items online.

Once I got to gracobaby I found a different travel system that I liked, maybe even better than the original one we had seen a few weeks before. There was a buy online button that took you to Amazon where you could place your order. This was Saturday. Today I get an email from Amazon telling me they have to cancel my order because they are not going to be able to get one from their sources. Shoot! I decided to call Graco and speak to their Customer Service area to see if they can help me locate one of these travel systems. I explained what happened with the Amazon order, and was placed on hold for about 15 minutes. She came back and said that because that item is really low in inventory that I could purchase it directly through them. I jumped at that opportunity, only to find out it's $30 cheaper and will be here in 5-7 days where as my estimated shipping window with Amazon, like the original bedding, would have been late-February to early -March. Needless to say, I am super excited, and hope nothing happens to this order!

This is the Graco MetroLite travel system in Isabella:

That pretty much wraps up the week. It feels really good to have the crib, bedding and paint. And hopefully next week we'll have our stroller system.

Last but not least, What's happening with baby: Week 21 - Banana. 10.5in, 12.7 oz

Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch.

20w - Halfway point

2009-01-22T10:32:00.005-06:00

Wow! Halfway point. That's just crazy. How did I get here? I think that's the question that is commonly asked by those of us who struggled so long to get where we are.

It's been a big week. Level II ultrasound, finding out gender, signing up for Childbirth classes, deciding on and purchasing our crib bedding and a few first baby items.

We got another special package in the mail this week. If it wasn't for the holiday on Monday, we would have had it in time for our ultrasound. When I opened the package and saw what was inside, I just cried. What an amazing gift, from an amazing gift of a friend. It's another Willow Tree figurine. Cherish - Awaiting a miracle Isn't she beautiful? Thank you!

Yesterday I had another OB appointment. She said I'm doing great. I was up a little over 3lbs since my last appointment, still doing very well. She isn't concerned that I haven't felt much movement yet. By my next appointment in 4 weeks, she predicts that will have changed. I still have no complaints. I escaped the first trimester without any morning sickness, and have managed to not have any heartburn yet. I feel so lucky. Maybe the 2nd half of my pregnancy will catch up to me. I do have that Glucose tolerance test to look forward to in 8 weeks!

The weekly fruit references are just about to run out. They were getting kind of silly anyways. Once you get to week 21 they group them for the month.

What's happening with baby: Week 20 - Cantaloupe. 6.5 in, 10.6 oz

Baby's digestive system is busy creating meconium (a tarry black substance made of swallowed amniotic fluid, digestive secretion and dead cells), which will fill the first diaper after birth. And, speaking of the diaper situation... baby's genitals are now fully formed!

19w4d - Pink or Blue...What's it gonna be?

2009-01-19T16:36:00.002-06:00

I have had this bracelet, probably for a year now. It's intention is to be used as a Pregnany Alert bracelet, incase you are unable to communicate if you are in an accident. When I ordered it, I had the option of Pink, Blue or Both. Today we found out which it will be.

There she is. All 11oz of her. It was awesome spending 25 minutes watching her and getting all the important measurements. Heartrate was 147 bpm. Everything looked good, and measurements were on track.

So far I've only felt movements a couple of times. After seeing how active this little one is, I can't believe I'm not feeling more yet. When we first started the u/s, she was laying in a transverse position across my belly with her back to me. I guess that might explain why I haven't felt much if this is a favorite position. Maybe all the kicks are going towards the inside and I just can't feel that.

Whoo hoo! Now for the fun of planning for a little girl. We are so excited!

19w - It's how cold?

2009-01-15T18:19:00.003-06:00

I'll be the first to admit it. I'm a wimp. I hate the cold. This morning we woke up to -21º air temperature. The windchill had to be something like -40º. They're saying it is the coldest it's been since January of '04.

What are my plans for the day? Staying in the house where it's a balmy 73º? Nah, I have to take the dog to the groomers and then go meet someone to pick something from her. Today. Of all days. At least it's not this cold and snowing! Oh well, while I was out, I stopped at the grocery store and picked something up for dinner. Oh yeah, and then I had to go back out to get the dog from the groomers. I don't think he's too happy with his new haircut today either.

Ughhh. Can I just say, "I HATE winter!". With that, it was today that I realized how thankful I am that our "19 week old baby" is still warm inside mommy's belly and doesn't have to be exposed to these ridiculous temperatures.

This time next week we should hopefully know the gender of our little one. I figure we should probably make a few phone calls before I post the news here...just to be fair. I can't believe it, almost half way there.

What's happening with baby: Week 19 - Mango (doesn't a Mango seem smaller than a Sweet Potato?)

Vernix caseosa, a greasy white substance made of lanugo, oil and dead skin cells (yum) now coats baby's skin, shielding it from the amniotic fluid. (Picture yourself after a nine-month bath, and the need for protection makes sense.) You might actually get to see the vernix at birth, especially if baby is premature.

18w2d - Baby belly makes it hard to sleep

2009-01-10T10:15:00.002-06:00

Ok, first things first. It's been requested that I add a belly shot. This was taken yesterday. I know you don't have anything to compare it to, but it's definitely starting to move up and fill out a bit. So, here it is! No hiding that bump now.

Last weekend we ventured into uncharted territory. We actually went into BRU. Heck, I was even there twice! Once with an experienced mom girlfriend and then back again the next day to show Mr a few of the things we looked at.

It's so fun to look at cribs and think about what baby's room might look like. And to look at strollers and think about how it's going to feel pushing baby around. At this point we still haven't made any purchases, but we're closer to a decision, at least on the crib.

Now, on to the title of this post. Last night was rough. I wasn't uncomfortable as far as aches or pains, but, for the first time, it certainly felt like the belly was getting in the way of finding a comfortable position. We went to bed around 11:30 and I had tiny cat naps until 3:30am when I finally got up and took a sleep-aid. I guess it finally kicked in and I slept until about 9:00am. Does this mean it's time to bring in the pillows?

Oh yeah, I think I felt my first "flutter", or whatever you wanna call them. So far just once, but it was definitely something that I hadn't felt before.

What's happening with baby: Week 18 - Sweet Potato

Your fetus has become amazingly mobile (at least compared to you), passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. And, baby's finally big enough that you'll be able to feel those movements soon.

17w0d - Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T10:56:00.001-06:00

So much for timely updates. I started this post on Thursday (on time) and never came back to it. I'll just keep it short, and pretend it was on time and edit the post stamp.

Happy New Year!
After an afternoon nap, I was good to go and managed to stay awake past midnight. Yippee!

New Year's Eve has always been kind of a big deal to us, as it's the anniversary of the beginning of our relationship. Hard to believe it's been 6 years already. Things sure have changed since our first New Year's Eve spent together.

My recent investment, Palmer's Cocoa Butter Massage Lotion. I'm doing two applications a day in hopes of minimizing stretchmarks to the belly. It's a great lotion that really stays with me all day.

Can I just say, I absolutely hate my Motherhood Secret Belly Fit jeans. The stretchy material just drives me nuts and itches like crazy. The lotion actually helps a little with that, but having an extra layer of material between my skin and that stretchy fabric is about all that really helps. I don't know how people can love these pants.

What's happening with baby: Week 17 - Onion

Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

16w4d - Our little avacado

2008-12-29T15:19:00.001-06:00

Oh, our baby is the size of an avacado. That makes me think of all the Mexican inspired meals we had along our journey. We even perfected a homemade guacamole. I thought for sure Mexican would be my food craving of choice, but I haven't really had much of a craving for anything let alone our favorite Mexican. I know, there's still time.

Now that Christmas is over, things should start to settle down around here a bit. Just a few more weeks and we'll hopefully be finding out whether baby is a he or a she. And then, there's that nursery to tackle! I'm surprised we haven't even looked at stuff for the baby yet. I guess that's just good self-control and maybe a little procrastination in clearing out the room. I already have a few ideas of what I like and how I want the room to look. The big factor will be if we are decorating in boy tones or girl tones. If it's a girl, I have a feeling it will be a VERY girly room.

What's happening with baby: Week 16 - Avacado

Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. And, if you're interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

15w5d - Christmas week

2008-12-23T17:35:00.002-06:00

Wow! Christmas is just about here and I'm almost to 16wks. This Christmas is so different from the last two years in so many ways. Instead of mourning a loss, we are celebrating the new life growing inside of me.

Today I had my 16wk appointment with my OB. It was just one of those quick appointments. I got to hear baby's heartbeat on the doppler. It's dropped a little, from 169 down to 158 bpm. According to their scale, with clothes on and what I gave them as my pre-pregnancy weight (which was actually pre-IVF weight) I have gained 6lbs. My doctor said that was perfect. Yeah! My next appointment will actually be my targeted level II ultrasound. I can't believe I'm only 4 weeks away from being half way through this pregnancy.

Besides a few episodes of RLP (round ligament pain), I continue to feel great every day. I really can't complain. I'm getting excited to start to feel baby move in the coming weeks.

It must be getting close to time to start buying stuff for baby and working on the nursery. (I can't wait!)

What's happening with baby: Week 15 - Naval Orange

Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby's legs now outmeasure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably still can't feel the movements.

*I need to try to get these weekly updates posted closer to the beginning of the week, not the end of the week.*

14w5d - Exciting weekend

2008-12-16T10:35:00.001-06:00

Another week down, and out to more friends.

Friday was a fun day. We went to the Science Museum of Minnesota to see the CSI exhibit. While we waited for our show time, we wandered through the Disease Detectives area. One of the experiment stations was an ECG display. It was the strangest thing to see, the machine was picking up baby's heartbeat along with mine. If I didn't know better, I'd think I had some major heart issue. So cool.

Saturday evening we went to our friends' White Elephant Party. It's been a few years since we've been able to go so it was great that our schedule was open and allowed us to make it this year. We had a good time telling some close friends that we're expecting. Once again, shock and excitement took over. Seeing reactions like this makes me feel so good about not telling anyone when we were trying. For all these years everyone just kept thinking we didn't want kids.

My next OB appointment is next week. 16 weeks. Can you believe it? Time sure is going fast. I continue to feel great every day which must be contributing to the time going so fast. I feel so sorry for the girls who are so sick throughout their pregnancies. Why can't everyone feel this good? I know I have a long way to go, but surviving the first trimester without an ounce of nausea or morning sickness sure was a blessing.

What's happening with baby: Week 14 - Lemon

Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

13w - Someone's Excited!

2008-12-04T20:39:00.006-06:00

It's official! Grandma got bit by the new grandbaby bug. I think it's safe to say she's anxious for the new little one. She hit the clearance rack at Kohl's and came bearing gifts. 16 maternity tops that should get me through a good majority of my pregnancy. There is a lot of short sleeve stuff, but if I toss on a sweater it should be about perfect through out the winter. She really scored and got all of this for about $100.

Week 13, Wow! that feels like such a milestone. The first trimester is almost over. I have my next OB appointment scheduled for the week of Christmas, and our Level II 'Big' u/s is already scheduled for January. Having been the one watching other people's pregnancies for so long, I never thought my own would be going by so fast.

What's happening with baby: Week 13 - Peach

Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)

12w4d - Spilled the Beans

2008-12-01T18:10:00.003-06:00

Finally, the cat's out of the bag. Our families are really excited and were certainly surprised by the news. I made a collage of the few photos we have of baby and gave each set of parents a copy.

We'll slowly now start telling the rest of our family and friends with most of them finding out through our Christmas card. For now, we have sworn our families to secrecy. It's been such a long journey that we really want to tell people ourselves. If we've been able to keep this secret for so long, it really shouldn't be that much to ask for them to keep it to themselves for a few weeks.

I didn't see my sister for the holiday, but did tell her over the phone. She seemed pretty excited to be a "real" aunt and said she didn't think it would ever happen. She has several nieces and nephews through her husband's side.

Of course we got the "I thought you didn't want kids" comment. I just replied that we changed our minds. We told our families what we went through to get here, but I don't think they really grasped the magnitude of the challenge or the extremes of our journey.

After telling my mom, I found out that I have her to thank for no morning sickness. Apparently she and my sister never really had any to speak of either. Here I was thinking maybe it was because of the constant fluctuations of hormone levels through so many cycles of treatments. At any rate, I feel very thankful to have been skipped over by the morning sickness fairy. (So far at least!)

The first 12 weeks have gone by pretty fast. I just can't believe how close I am to being out of the First Trimester.

And now, what's happening with baby: Week 12 Plum
As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed.

11w5d - NT Scan complete

2008-11-25T14:12:00.010-06:00

Not much to update today, but I do have some new photos to share. :)

Baby was quite active at the beginning of the scan, but then decided to take a nap when it was time for the most important measurement. We tried a few tricks, but baby wasn't budging and wouldn't get into position for the neck measurement. We gave baby about 15 minutes and a small bottle of cold water to try to wake them. It worked in that baby woke up, but it was still a challenge to get that little stinker into position.

By measurement, baby was actually measuring a couple of days ahead this time. 12wks exactly. Heart rate was just about the same as last time at 168. It was really cool to see the 4 working chambers of the heart and also the brain.

Seeing baby again today was the reassurance I needed before we start telling everyone later this week. Based on u/s, everything looks good. The u/s tech said she can't say normal or abnormal. Ultimately, we'll know more when the blood work comes back. Speaking of blood work, since when did a finger prick hurt so bad? Ouch! Actually, it was more of a finger slice than a finger prick.

Anyways, as promised, new pics! Look at the 2nd one, it looks like baby could be sucking its thumb.

11w4d - Thanksgiving week

2008-11-24T09:19:00.004-06:00

It's almost here! Thanksgiving and our big reveal. While plans have not gone exactly as we had hoped, both families will be here (individually) this week so we can tell them in-person. It was looking like both families would be here for pre-Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday, but that just isn't going to work out. At least we'll be able to tell both sets of parents in-person within 24 hours of each other. That still beats a phone call any day!

I'm getting really excited for our appointment this week. Can't wait to see how much baby has changed in the last 3.5 weeks. It's going to be a busy week, but I'll try to get on to post updates after our appointment. But for now...

What's happening with baby: Week 11 LimeYour fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through. But, fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

10w4d

2008-11-17T09:54:00.004-06:00

It's been another quiet week with little to report. I'm still feeling really good. I think I've felt some of those stretching pains in the last few days I also often feel something when I'm in bed switching positions. We went and worked out for a while yesterday. First time in I don't know how long! I did 30 minutes on the treadmill keeping my heart rate under 120.

We have family photos on Saturday and our next appointment is next week already, so I have those things to look forward to this week. Hopefully this week goes by fast!

We're down to 10 days before the big reveal. Our Thanksgiving Day plans haven't completely come together yet, so that's a bit of a stress point. How are we gonna do this? We are ready to host dinner if everything falls into place. I even 'won' a 14.6 lb turkey at a meat/turkey raffle on Saturday!

What's happening with baby: Week 10 Prune
With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

9w - 1st day in maternity pants

2008-11-06T17:59:00.002-06:00

And boy is my belly happy. My poor stomach has been getting so sore when I sit for a while and after meals. Yesterday I went out and got a couple pairs of jeans that actually fit and are super comfy. My belly is so much happier today.

Us IVF'ers have so much bloat to start with from all the stim meds that the belly just sort of keeps expanding instead of a natural conception without any of the drugs where you might actually lose a little bloat before the belly actually starts to pop.

It's been an uneventful week. I'm still feeling like a million bucks..beside the belly issue that has now been resolved. Still getting tired in the afternoons, still no nausea or morning sickness to speak of.

This is our little secret for 3 more weeks. The big reveal will be on Thanksgiving, and honestly, at the rate I'm going, the belly will reveal itself without us having to say anything.

What's going on with baby this week: Week 9 Green Olive

Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!

8w1d - Peace of Mind

2008-10-31T19:06:00.008-05:00

It's only been 9 days since we first saw the baby, but already today we could see how much it's grown in just over a week. The spine was so clearly visible this time, and the baby kept moving around. Moving and twisting around so much, already giving the tech a hard time in getting measurements. I think it might have even waved. ;) Baby has grown from 8mm to 1.4cm (give or take, different machine, different tech). We didn't get to hear the heartbeat, but we got to see that wonderful flicker again. She mapped it on the ultrasound at 168 bpm.

Hopefully this will help ease my mind until we have our next appointment. Somehow having little to no symptoms is really messing with my mind. I should just be glad that I feel as good as I do and hope it lasts for as long as possible.

And now for the weekly update: Week 8: Raspberry
Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.

1st OB Appointment

2008-10-30T09:51:00.002-05:00

7w6d - Yesterday was my first OB appointment.

Unfortunately, I was a bit disappointed. They specifically got me in sooner rather than later given my history of losses. Had I not seen the heartbeat the week before, I would have been really frustrated. They didn't do an ultrasound. Heck, this office doesn't even have an ultrasound machine on the premises. You have to go to one of several different offices when you have ultrasound appointments.

I know I was released from the RE, and he said I'd basically be treated like a regular pregnant person from there on out, but don't most regular pregnant people get to see their baby at the first appointment?

It was just all the basic stuff. I had to give blood, 3 vials worth. My poor arms still haven't returned to normal after all the blood draws during the IVF cycle that the poor girl had a hard time getting a good bleed. There was also a urine test, and the regular Pap and full exam.

We talked a bit about the different screenings they recommend. The NT or Nuchal translucency screening will be the first one we do. That's scheduled between 11-14 weeks, so I have about a month before that will take place.

Before I left, I did get scheduled for an ultrasound. It'll be tomorrow afternoon. Now I'm not sure what I want to do about clinics. How important is it to have ultrasound on site? Most of the important ultrasound appointments are going to be booked ahead of time. Do I stay at the convenient close to home location or make a permanent switch to one of the offices with the ultrasound machine? I guess this is something I need to think about a little more.

Tomorrow afternoon can't get here soon enough. I just want another peek at the baby and to see the flickering heartbeat again.

7w1d - 1st OB appointment scheduled

2008-10-24T10:31:00.006-05:00

Not a whole lot to update since our appointment just 2 days ago. Yesterday I called and made my first OB appointment. Our RE thought they'd probably want to see me around 10 weeks, but since I have a history of loss, I'm getting in next week!

Having never had an OB/GYN before, I picked a clinic super close to home, but didn't really have a specific doctor in mind. When the receptionist was telling me which doctors had openings next week, it just worked out that it was the one that I kind of "wanted" to see. Her areas of interest are Infertility and High Risk. Not that I consider myself to be high risk (yet), but I am 35 now, and do have those losses under my belt. I don't know, maybe I'm hoping she sort of "gets it" when it comes to being pregnant after infertility. I'm also kind of excited because apparently the 1st appointment is usually just with a nurse practitioner, and I get to see the doctor right away.

Here's what's going on with baby. Week 7: Blueberry

Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

6w6d - 1st Ultrasound

2008-10-22T12:57:00.002-05:00

We made it. Today was the much anticipated first ultrasound. I was so nervous going into this appointment, I slept just horrible last night. It was just impossible to shut my mind off.

But, the nerves were for nothing (yeah, right)!! As soon as the ultrasound image appeared on the screen, I could see it was good news. There is one precious baby growing in the uterus with the unmistakable flickering of the heart. Baby was measuring 8mm which equals 6w5d, so we are right on track.

Each day is truly a blessing. It feels so amazing to have come this far.

Here are the pictures from today. They aren't the greatest, but they are our baby.

6w1d - Update

2008-10-17T12:03:00.003-05:00

Since I've gotten a few emails asking how I'm doing, here's a quick update.

I returned for a 3rd beta this week and my numbers continue to rise nicely. Next week we have our first ultrasound at what will be almost 7 weeks. By that point we should be able to see the flicker of a beating heart.

So far I've been feeling really good. Still taking it extremely easy and avoiding heavy lifting, straining, twisting, etc. I'm starting to feel more hungry throughout the day and always wake up really hungry in the morning. Most days I end up taking a short afternoon nap while watching some show on HGTV or TLC. By bedtime I'm definitely sporting the bloated belly look.

I'll try to be better about posting updates. It just doesn't "feel" like anything is happening right now.

Here's what's happening inside the belly: Week 6: Sweet Pea

Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

I Have Something to Share

2008-10-06T14:13:00.001-05:00

Okay, first of all, I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner. We got the results of my first beta on Thursday. My number was kind of low at only 39. I was warned that it was really low, and could be a sign of miscarriage. They don't do pregnancy tests on the weekend so I had to wait until today to get the repeat beta done. We were hoping for something around the 160 mark. That would have been perfect 48 hour doubling. My beta came in at 447! Someone told me about a calculator. I guess my doubling was 1.13 days or 27.12 hours. :)

The same nurse that called on Thursday called again today and I could tell she was so excited for us. She said this is a really good number based on where it was on Thursday.

Next week I have one more beta and then an u/s the following week.

Could it be possible that this is actually happening? I sure hope so. I'm more than ready!

More Birthday Festivities

2008-10-03T22:00:00.002-05:00

Surprise! A great group of friends turned up at our favorite Mexican restaurant tonight to surprise me for my birthday. Yes, the same restaurant we were just at on Sunday! What can I say, we love this place. I sure was surprised. We usually eat dinner by 5pm, so when I was told our reservations were for 7pm I thought for sure it was for some place else, and it was so late because it was a last minute thing. Boy was I wrong. Apparently this has been in the works for about a month.

I got a couple of very thoughtful gifts that go along with our whole thing about Hope. I got a bracelet that incorporates Rose Quartz stones (for its protection and connection to serenity and fertility. Just like my Angie bracelet) and has a butterfly and a Hope charm on it. The other gift is one of the WillowTree statues, The Angel of Hope.

Our Hope collection just keeps growing. I love all of these wonderful little reminders that so many people around us also have Hope for us and are always thinking and praying for us.

Thanks to all who came out tonight to celebrate my birthday. I love you all.

A Great Distraction

2008-09-29T20:59:00.003-05:00

In the 2ww, you need all the distractions you can get.

Today is my 35th birthday. Besides the fact that it is putting us into a new age bracket at the RE's office, it has been a wonderful way to keep my mind off of the time between transfer and my beta.

Yesterday we celebrated a month's worth of birthdays at our favorite Mexican restaurant. It wasn't exactly a baby related day, but it made me feel good anyways. And tonight we went out for an early dinner.

This wait hasn't been too bad, but it isn't over yet either! I still don't have any tests in the house and I'm not sure if I'll get any before my blood test. Guess we'll wait and see.

Babies 1st Photos!

2008-09-25T10:52:00.004-05:00

Aren't they just the cutest little things you ever did see!?

Their names are Blastocyst and Morula (top to bottom). I think Blasty has daddy's eyes and Mora has mommy's nose.

Six Little Embryos Growing in a Lab

2008-09-23T08:31:00.002-05:00

We got the news from the lab early on Saturday. Of our 16 retrieved eggs, 8 were mature and 6 fertilized with ICSI.

We have double what we had last time in both maturity and fertilization. This is such a relief.

The next phone call didn't come until Monday morning. All 6 of them are still growing. It even looks like we have a good chance of having 4 blastocysts. We only made it to the morula phase last time.

Our transfer is scheduled for later this morning. Our clinic requires strict bedrest for 48 hours, so I won't be posting any updates until at least Thursday. Maybe the Mr. will feel like popping on for a quick update when we get home.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us along the way. I'm sorry I haven't been good about updates during this cycle, but it has felt so much better for me to not have to report every little detail.

Wish us luck!

How We Spent Our Anniversary

2008-09-18T15:43:00.002-05:00

At the clinic makin' babies! That's right. Today is our 4th anniversary and we spent the morning retrieving my eggs. Something about this just feels so right. Our embryos are being conceived on our anniversary.

This cycle turned out to be so much better than the last. We had 16 eggs retrieved. Last time, we only got a total of 7.

Our clinic doesn't call until day 2, so we won't hear anything until Saturday. At that point we'll know how many were mature and how many fertilized.

Keeping with tradition, we got a little Mexican take-out for dinner. (Real anniversary dinner will be tomorrow.)

A Chili Relleno, Chalupa and an Enchilada for the Mr. and an Enchilada and a Tamal with rice for the Mrs.

Still Stimming

2008-09-12T21:56:00.002-05:00

I'm so proud of myself. I really thought I'd cave and come running to create a new post filled with updates after my appointments.

This MicroDoseLupron (MDL) protocol is so different. I was on stims for 5 1/2 days before they even saw me for blood work and an ultrasound. Things are going really well, just a little slower and more steady. I have a nice cluster of follicles on each side that are growing at about the same rate with no big lead follicle taking over.

So far I've been in twice and will return this weekend. I feel like we are just taking it day by day and that's okay.

After all these months of shots, I finally got my first fairly large bruise from one of the injections last night. This one also bled the most, which makes sense to the bruising. Taking four injections a day, I'm starting to feel like a human pin-cushion. At least the needles are tiny and don't really hurt. My stomach isn't tender to the touch, but it's getting harder to find new places to do the shots. Hopefully we're only looking at a few more days of this...then we can move on to the IM bum shots and give my belly a break. Oh the silly things we look forward to!

Tag! I'm it!

2008-09-09T13:51:00.003-05:00

I've been tagged by Stacey.

I'm generally not a fan of chain type emails, and that sort of crosses over to blogland. I'll play along, but I'm going to opt out on tagging someone else. I see a lot of the blogs I follow have already been tagged recently anyways.

If you would like to play, here's what you need to do.

The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules to your blog
3. Write 6 random things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.

6 random things about myself:

I broke my leg ice skating when I was 6yrs old in kindergarten. It isn't easy for a 6yr old to maneuver on crutches let alone in the dead of winter in Minnesota!
I haven't moved very far from the house I grew up in. I've only lived in 1 county, 4 different places in 2 different suburbs and have only had 2 zip codes.
I love sun & fun beach type of vacations.
We have relatives living in Germany and I hope to travel there to see them someday.
I collect lighthouses.
My eye for color is just crazy. Once I have an inspiration object, I can usually spot the perfect color match in seconds. Picking out paint colors with me is probably pretty hysterical!

I Love Getting Packages!

2008-09-05T16:02:00.008-05:00

Today when the mailman came, they left a package at the front door. I was expecting a delivery from UPS, so being it was so early and that it came USPS, I knew it was something different.

This is what was in the package:

It's an early anniversary/birthday/bed rest (in no particular order) care package.

We have a bucket of Hope
a Hershey bar
some Lucky Charms cereal (Luck)
Butterfly key holder (more Hope)
a CD of relaxation music
Chill TicTacs (Relax)
a September birthstone Angel pin that says, "May this birthstone angel bring blessings from above."
SweeTarts to share with my Sweetheart.

This gift came from the same loving, thoughtful people who sent us the Hope plate a while back.

Thank you so much for constantly thinking of us and keeping us in your prayers.

It's Friday!

2008-09-05T07:50:00.002-05:00

And I do not have an appointment today. What am I going to do with myself? haha!

After the mishap on Wednesday, I keep looking at my IVF handbook to make sure I'm doing things right. I have double, triple checked the dosage column and I look at the book again every night before bed to make sure there isn't an appointment the next day. (As if something is going to just show up.)

It's only the first week of September, but in Minnesota, it is starting to feel like Fall already. Especially in the morning. Yesterday was the first day I wore jeans with shoes and socks in a long time. I also bought myself some new slippers.

At this point, I guess it's fair to say I was able to reclaim my summer after our botched attempt at IVF #1 back in May. We didn't go anywhere, but I still think we made the most of it. Now that Fall is approaching, I'm ready to settle in and just relax.

How NOT to Start Your New Cycle

2008-09-03T14:46:00.003-05:00

By blowing off your first appointment. Yeah. I was supposed to go in for an ultrasound and blood work today. I thought for sure the appointment was scheduled for Friday. Oops.

Apparently this new protocol was too much for me to take in. Changing things up before we even got started. I'm going to blame it on terminology. I swear Stacie said to come in when stim starts. Oh right. Microdose Lupron is actually considered a stim. I didn't know that until today.

Good thing they called me and said you know you were supposed to be here. I figured better 2 hours late than 2 days late.

Getting to the clinic has been like dealing with mass chaos down in that part of town as it is for a few months now. Road construction, building a new ramp at the medical building, etc. Today, the temporary ramp entrance that we've been using is closed to contractors only. I head around the block not knowing if the regular entrance is going to be open. Yes, it was. "Push the button for a ticket". Crap! Do we have to pay to park now? I don't have any money. There's a guy standing out by the entrance, but he's on his phone. I hurry inside to get checked in. Figured I'd ask the receptionist what's going on with the ramp. She asked me for my ticket. It's in the car. Who brings their ramp ticket in? Today's the first day, so she gives me this access chip token thingy that you drop into a slot as you approach the arm at the exit of the ramp. Apparently they are somehow tracking ramp usage, and for now at least, you don't have to pay.

Getting home was just as much of an adventure. I get to the end of the road where you have to turn to get onto the highway. A motorcycle cop is blocking the turn lane. Crap! Now where am I supposed to go? Oh yes. The Republican National Convention is in St. Paul this week. Lovely. Maybe there was some entourage that I just missed? Navigating my way home wasn't that bad, but traffic was definitely unusually heavy for 2pm.

After all of this, I'm just glad I got it over with. The ultrasound was over before I even knew what hit me. Everything looks good, but it was too late in the day to even think about getting any blood work results back today.

I hope this is the only major SNAFU of this cycle. Good grief! I don't need to add any stress to all of this.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere There's Signs

2008-08-28T17:21:00.002-05:00

We had Chinese take-out for dinner tonight. This is what my fortune said.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm all about signs. I should start keeping track of the little things that happen going into this cycle.

Mailing lists

2008-08-26T15:31:00.008-05:00

How exactly do you get on a mailing list?

This is what I got in the mail today.

Great. A little bedrest reading material? I haven't shopped at BRU since about this time last year before I went to a baby shower in September. And, the mailing address had my maiden name on it. If I shopped with a credit card, it didn't have my maiden name on it.

I haven't ever been pregnant long enough to actually register myself on any websites so they couldn't have gotten my name/address that way.

How funny that this would arrive the day after our consult for IVF #2 when I'm feeling really good about the possible outcome. Might I add, this is the first time I've ever gotten one of these.

May as well look through it since it's here. What harm is there in that?!

Pulled Out a Wild Card

2008-08-25T17:38:00.006-05:00

Today was our follow-up appointment with the RE. Not only did we get a new protocol for this next cycle, we were definitely dealt a Wild Card in the Infertility Game.

For months now my baseline day 3 FSH has been well below the level where it would be any concern. Has it been trending higher? Maybe. Numbers I have heard over the course of my treatment have included 6.8, 8.9 and 9.3. Well, this cycle, I pull a 14.3!?! What? That's crazy right? Yes. It is, but having that number documented, puts me into a new category.

I'm almost 35, you can't treat me like I'm 25. This number is proof of that! Even if I get retested and it's lower, I pulled this number "one time" and we'll have to treat me as such.

Should I be devastated by this news? Are my ovaries just too old to do this? I don't know. What I do know is that it shakes up our protocol going into this cycle. This comes as a huge relief to me. Not only are we increasing my dosage of meds, we are doing something completely different.

Welcome to the Microdose Lupron Flare Protocol. Lupron increases from 20iu once a day to 20iu twice a day and on the third day, we add in stims. The difference here is that it had been 20iu of Lupron for 12 days, and then start stims on day 13. Also, we'll be removing Menopur from the mix all together and doing a total of 450iu Follistim for at least the first 5 days, and then going back in for blood work and ultrasound to determine how to proceed.

So, in essence, we aren't completely shutting down the ovaries (or suppressing them) and then turning around and expecting them to kick it into high gear and kick out the follicles.

By going this route, everything shifts up a week. Can't complain there! Instead of yet another delay, we get to move ahead quicker.

We also asked about 3-day vs 5-day transfers. While ideally they'd like to see us get to day 5 blast transfer again, but if things aren't looking as good as they maybe could, we definitely have the option of a 3-day transfer with assisted hatching.

As for why our cycle failed, there really is no simple answer to that. So, we'll take the new information we've been given and go with it. I'm excited to be trying something new. More than just adding in higher doses of meds. Something truly different than we did before.

My renewed Hope remains!

Thoughts on Hope

2008-08-22T10:21:00.002-05:00

As we start this new cycle, I want to flood myself with positive thoughts. Sticking with our Hope theme, here are some inspirational quotes to reflect on over the next few weeks.

When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."~Author Unknown

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers. ~Robert Ingersoll

Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark. ~George Iles

Once you choose hope, anything's possible. ~Christopher Reeve

Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them. ~Vincent McNabb

Love floods us with hope. ~Jareb Teague

There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope. ~Edgar Howe

You've gotta have hope. Without hope life is meaningless. Without hope life is meaning less and less. ~Author Unknown

Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier. ~Author Unknown

Hope is but the dream of those who wake. ~Matthew Prior

Hope never abandons you, you abandon it. ~George Weinberg

Hope is patience with the lamp lit. ~Tertullian

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. ~Lin Yutang

So many really good ways to think about Hope and what it means to different people. I already have a couple of favorites.

Looking for Answers

2008-08-19T09:46:00.004-05:00

Next week we have our Post IVF follow-up conference with our doctor. This is also lovingly known as the “WTF Appointment” by the girls on the Nest. As in what went wrong with our IVF cycle, and what are we going to do differently this time around?

Recently there has been a surge of positive outcomes for 2nd IVFs after horrible first rounds. These stories are making me feel like maybe we too have a chance. That we’ll get more than 7 follicles, 4 mature eggs, 3 that fertilize and only 1 to transfer.

So, next week it is. We’ll be back in the office signing consent forms and getting the details of our protocol so we can order my meds and get the show on the road.

The only thing I found out ahead of time is that we are starting out by nearly doubling my medications. Makes sense to me. Not to beat a dead horse, but for IVF #1, my Menopur dose was cut in half from what I had been taking for my IUI cycles. As for the Follistim, I was on a higher dose, but going forward, it’ll be even higher.

Hope remains that I will become one of the turnaround success stories and people will be looking to see what I did differently for my successful cycle.

We’ve got our 4th anniversary and both of our birthdays coming up in the next two months. There is no possible gift better than that of a BFP and that is what we are hoping for.

*If you have been through this yourself, and have any suggestions for questions we should ask or things that we definitely should bring up, I'd appreciate hearing from you.

A Little Bit of Magic

2008-08-11T10:39:00.005-05:00

I wasn't even going to say anything today, but when I looked out our kitchen window and saw a butterfly fluttering around, I knew I had to say something to acknowledge the day.

As many of you know, butterflies are often used as a fertility symbol. A symbol of the soul. Today of all days, I see a butterfly when I look out the window. Today. August 11, 2008, the date on the calendar that represents the estimated due date of our second angel.

"The metamorphosis of the butterfly is a powerful symbol in so many ways for us when we are grieving. They are the beautiful tiny spark of life that came to us, lighted in our lives for a too brief moment before fluttering away. They are the hope that the transformation that loss brings into our life, can result in something different, something beautiful. We may not be the same at the end of our journey, but we have grown, we are able to see things that we could not before. They are the hope that we may swallow that butterfly soul searching for us, and hold a baby in our bodies and in our arms once more."

Call me crazy, but I'm all about signs. I'll take seeing the butterfly today as some sort of sign sent just for me.

I can't believe it hung around long enough for me to run upstairs and get the camera. I wanted to go outside, but was afraid it would fly away. These pictures were taken through the window.

We're Doing Okay

2008-08-08T09:50:00.005-05:00

It's been over a week since we got the devastating news of our IVF failure. The first couple of days were pretty rough for both of us. As the weekend came to a close, I was starting to feel a lot better. (Not that reading emails or trying to write this doesn't still bring the flood of emotions right back to the forefront.)

We talked a bit, worked out a few details, and were able to get scheduled to cycle again right away.

For my own sanity, I am thinking of taking this cycle "offline" and not really blog about things as we progress. Well, at least not publishing the posts. While the support can be utterly amazing, it also feels like it adds so much additional pressure to perform! It was really hard to come back and report the not so good updates.

We all know "it only takes one", but when you have put your whole heart and soul into the cycle, it really hurt to only be left with that one little teeny tiny poppy seed of a chance.

Thanks to everyone for your continued support. I'm sure you can understand how this can be a difficult position to be in. My email is posted if anyone would like to stay in touch while I take some time away from the blog.

2 Things for Me Today

2008-08-02T22:15:00.003-05:00

Today was the first day in three years that we went for a bike ride. Long story, don't ask. We live near an awesome paved trial system and everything, but just haven't gone for a ride in 3 years.

It's been so long since we rode that both of our CatEye bike computers were dead. We have no idea how long we were gone or how far we went, but I think it was a little over 30 minutes.

Also showing how long it's been since our bikes have been out, Shanu's bike decided to leave him with only a single gear. Luckily it was a mid-gear, but not so fun for inclines.

And, tonight, I took a bath. It has been so long since I took a relaxing bath. Last Christmas I participated in a Secret Santa exchange and got my person a couple of bath bombs from Blissful Bath. It's a cute little shop in the area about 30 miles from our house. Being I don't get to that part of town all that often, I got a couple of bombs for myself. Tonight was the first time I've used them since December. How pathetic is that!

So tonight, I was feeling the burn of a much overdue bike ride and relaxed in a far too hot tub of water! It was heavenly!

Tomorrow we may go for another ride and if we do, we'll be armed with new batteries in our CatEyes. Not sure if Shanu will have a chance to look at his gearing, but at least we are making an effort to get out again.

And Then There Were None

2008-07-31T13:34:00.004-05:00

Today was the big day. Our blood pregnancy test was today.
You know it isn't good news when the doctor calls before the window of time I was expecting to get a call in.

Our one little fighter embryo didn't make it. We knew our chances weren't as good having only one to transfer, but we still held on to every bit of hope we had. (And there was a lot of it!)

I can't beat myself up over this. When there is a next time, they'll give me a higher dose of meds from the start. I had as many follicles on IUI cycles as I did this time around. Did they shut me down too much and I couldn't turn things up enough in time to get good production? That's the question for the doctor to answer.

Unfortunately this was our first cycle with the new clinic and we'll have to chalk it up as a very expensive learning experience. In the future, I'll test at home first. I can take seeing a stark white test strip easier than I can take the phone call.

We'll have a conference with the doctor in a few weeks to go over what went wrong this cycle and what they'll do in the future to get better results.

For a fleeting moment, we had life. At least we have a picture of it. Something tangible. That's more than we've gotten in the past.

Just One

2008-07-22T14:07:00.011-05:00

Melissa is on bed rest now, so this will be the last update until Thursday.
Of our three embryos only one made it to a stage where it could be transferred.

Transfer Day!

2008-07-22T09:00:00.001-05:00

Today is the big day. Our transfer is scheduled in just a couple of hours.

I did not really get an update when they called to schedule us yesterday, but they did say they still all looked really good and pretty equal when they looked at them on Sunday.

Now it's up to their team to select the 2 best looking embryos in hopes of implantation.

I'll be spending the next 48 hours on bedrest so I won't be able to check-in or give any updates.

Thanks again for all the support and well wishes during this process.

Good things come in 3's, right?

2008-07-19T21:35:00.002-05:00

I sure hope so, cause that's how many embryos we have! Out of our 7 eggs that were retrieved, 4 were mature and 3 fertilized with ICSI.

Things were on track as of this morning, and all of them were right about equal. We'll get another call on Monday and set up the transfer for sometime on Tuesday.

Tonight was my first PIO shot and I have to say, it really wasn't that bad. I was definitely expecting a lot worse.

Thanks to everyone who's left comments or sent emails in the last few days. I definitely appreciate all the love and support going into this.

Random thoughts during an IVF cycle

2008-07-18T13:31:00.001-05:00

(Click to enlarge)

Home and Relaxing

2008-07-17T15:32:00.006-05:00

Our ER was at 8:30 this morning. They went in looking for 7 and that's what they came out with. We won't know any more until Saturday.

I had 9 follicles earlier in the week, so I don't know how it turned up that they were only looking for 7, but at least they got them all.

Anyways, the worst part was trying to find a good spot to start the IV. She finally settled on the back of my hand and it was pretty easy going. I woke right up and was holding a conversation on my way back to the recovery room. We hung out for about 1/2 an hour and then I was discharged.

I was given some Tylenol before I left and just now I took some more. I've had only a slight crampy feeling so far, but I want to stay on top of things. I actually feel pretty good.

We did ICSI on all of them, so I'm hoping for good numbers on Saturday!
(I'm borrowing someone else's lucky number here!)

Tonight, in honor of our tradition for important baby related days (and this was a big one!) we will be having Mexican!

Time to pull the trigger!

2008-07-15T18:50:00.003-05:00

These little follicles are getting their eviction notice delivered to them tonight at 8:30pm! Time for me to meet "the big guy" as referenced below.

Egg retrieval will be Thursday morning at 8:30am.

As of today, still 9 measurable follicles with plenty of smaller ones tagging along for the ride. I feel really good about those 9 because 9 happens to be my lucky number. And, I'm hoping for quality over quantity.

Of course I'm really anxious with a bit of nerves thrown in the mix too. I've never had an IV and only ever been put under once and that was when I had my Wisdom teeth out. I don't do well with needles, but I have gotten better after what feels like a million blood draws over the last 2 years.

Our clinic calls on day 2 with the fertilization report, so I probably won't know anything until Saturday.

Wish me luck!

Just call me the slow hen

2008-07-14T14:36:00.009-05:00

This morning I was at the clinic for another blood draw and ultrasound.

Different ultrasound tech, different nurse. Still 9 measurable follicles with 5-10 smaller ones on each side.

Just got the call that I'm supposed to continue with the same dosage of meds again tonight and tomorrow morning. Follistim 225iu, Menopur 75iu and 5 units Lupron. Tomorrow will be day 12 of stims. That feels like so long given my past experience with the IUI cycles. I only stimmed for about 6-8 days at a lower dosage and was ready to go.

Anyways, back to the clinic again tomorrow for more of the same.

I think they said my E2 was at 998 yesterday and up to 1234 today. Slow and steady she goes.

And for your viewing pleasure, a shot of our shots. ;) Fortunately, I haven't had the pleasure to meet the big guy just yet.

Still growing

2008-07-13T11:38:00.002-05:00

Another Sunday morning starting out with a trip to the doctor's office.

Ultrasound is showing 9 good sized measurable follicles (above 10mm) and anywhere from 5-10 smaller ones on each ovary. I have one lead follicle that's sort of taking off from the pack. Funny, there had been pretty equally sized follicles on each ovary up until now. Thoughts are we let that one go and get some of the rest of them to catch up.

My blood work (Estradiol) has made a nice steady climb all week. I have been in on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. What started out at a low 20, climbed to 39, then 185 and then up to 498 as of Friday.

I go back again tomorrow, but as of now, it sounds like I'll be stimming for a couple more days. "Maybe" triggering on Tuesday with retrieval on Thursday.

After all this time, you'd think I'd be used to all this waiting. The anticipation has me excited, but at the same time, I don't want to get too excited, because things keep changing.

Inching closer

2008-07-07T15:48:00.004-05:00

Time for an update.

After two and a half days on stims, 75iu Menopur and 150iu Follistim I had a blood draw yesterday. My E2 was at a lowly 20. Eeeks! It was actually down from 28 earlier in the week. Huh?

Doctor upped my Follistim to 225iu and wanted to see me back first thing this morning. Today my E2 was up to 39. Yeah, making progress!

My first follicle check will be Wednesday. I'm anxious to see how things look by then. That'll be after five and half days of meds.

Come on Follies! You can do it. Grow grow grow.

No news = Good news?

2008-07-02T21:13:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was my suppression check ultrasound and blood draw. I'm assuming since I didn't hear anything from the clinic that it's all good and we are clear to go!

My ultrasound showed 17 total antral follicles. Last time I had 23. I guess this is a sign that things were shut down a little better going into this round.

Friday I start both Menopur and Follistim. It's going to be weird doing morning and evening injections. I can hardly believe my last medicated cycle was in January! That feels like so long ago. That was so long ago. Hopefully my body will remember what it's supposed to do with these medicines and produce a good number of excellent quality eggs that mature nicely.

I am more than ready to get this long awaited show on the road. I'm sure there will be lots of updates through next week as I have appointments scheduled for almost every day.

Here we go!

Cooperation

2008-06-30T15:34:00.003-05:00

For the first time in a really long time, I feel like my body is actually doing what it's supposed to do, when it's supposed to do it.

Wednesday was my last BCP, and within about a day and a half, AF had arrived. This is progress from last time when the silly lady never showed until after my cycle was cancelled. At least a week later than expected.

Tomorrow is my final suppression check before we kick things into high gear on Friday. I hope the blood work and ultrasound also indicate that my body has decided to cooperate.

*Fingers crossed all goes well tomorrow*

Feeling productive

2008-06-26T12:16:00.012-05:00

Back in May when our IVF was cancelled, we kicked it into high gear and started on our fence project.

Why not? I'd actually be able to help with a majority of it.

Memorial Day weekend, we started digging post holes. 43 of them. Thanks to the help of some friends, and a rented power auger, all the holes got dug in one day.

Over the course of the next few weekends and many evenings, the posts were all set and many cross pieces attached.

Last weekend, we finally started on some of the vertical slats and now we actually have the beginnings of a very fine looking fence.

We only have about a week's worth of work left in me before I start on lifting restrictions again. Hopefully we can knock out a lot more this weekend and next week and still find some relaxing time in between.

These pictures were taken on Tuesday. One month from starting. It's a big project and hard to put it into perspective. Way bigger than I can squeeze into one frame.

Is this what I really meant when I said I was excited to get some of my summer back?

And Ben, thanks for all the help you've given us on this project.

Keeping "Hope" close to my heart

2008-06-14T08:37:00.003-05:00

As I have mentioned before, Hope is what is pulling us through all of these hard times. I recently received this necklace from my best friend who wanted to give me a way to keep our Hope close to my heart.

Thank you. I needed that.

Good luck on Friday the 13th!

2008-06-13T21:54:00.003-05:00

That's right. I said good luck. My appointment today was great! After being back on the pill since May 19th, both of my ovaries are quiet. Yeah! (Amazing what leaving the antibiotic out of the protocol will do.)

After seeing quiet ovaries, I was still so scared that something was going to come back wonky with my blood work. Nope! I was wrong. That was good too.

I think I have these numbers right; my Progesterone was 0.54 and my Estradiol was 23. When I had gotten my blood work back last time just before my cycle was cancelled, my Estradiol was 379 and my Progesterone was 11. So, obviously my numbers are looking much better this time.

Out of curiosity, I asked what my FSH was last time it was tested. In May, on or about cycle day 3, it was 8.3. Ideally they want to see it under 10, so I'm still good there.

So, the good news in all of this is I get to move ahead as planned and will start Lupron next Sunday. I don't go back until July 1st, which is 10 days into the Lupron. Being we already took a peek today, things really "should" be good at that point. It will almost be more of a typical baseline ultrasound.

Finally, some good news and forward movement. Now that's a good feeling.

Welcome to June!

2008-06-02T10:35:00.002-05:00

It's June and we are that much closer to our actual IVF procedure.

I start my Lupron shots in June, but not before my one and only scheduled June appointment. This time my doctor is going to see me before I start my Lupron instead of waiting until I've been on it for ten days to see what's happening.

The last couple of weeks have gone by really fast. We've managed to keep ourselves super busy, so that has helped a lot.

It's nice to have a lot of little milestones to look forward to. It makes each thing seem more important and significant in the grand scheme of things.

Now, I just have to make it to next Friday for my first appointment. I think I can handle that!