Where to go from here

I feel like I'm at a crossroads.  I've been blogging as PsychedForBaby for a little over 2 years now.
When I started the blog, I really didn't know if I'd get into it, but blogging has been very therapeutic and definitely helped me through some very physically and emotionally rough times.
Honestly, I don't know how I could have gotten through everything I did if it wasn't for the love and support that I got from friends and strangers that I know only through the online world.  There have been so many wonderful comments left over the last 2 years.  Somehow the strangers always had the power to pull me out of my darkest moments.  I guess that's mostly because it was the strangers that could most closely relate to what I was posting about.  
I feel like I'm at a crossroads because I don't know what to do.  I love the idea of keeping a blog to continue to document our new life with Megan, but I don't know if this is the place for it.  Even to this day, not all of our friends and family know the extent of the struggle that we went through to get our precious Megan.  It doesn't seem right to share this blog with them now that we're through all the "bad" stuff and they had no idea it was happening.  Also, I don't really feel like I can leave it all behind either.  This has been my safe place for so long, it just feels natural to come here and leave updates.    
Over to the right there is a link to another blog that I created thinking that would be where I would turn after baby arrived.  What I might do is share that blog with family and friends and keep this blog for the select friends and family that already know about it and all my "other friends" who only know me through the online world.  I just can't see deleting this blog.   I cry just thinking about it.  So much so that it's taken me days to get this far in writing this post.  This blog has too much important information and such a thorough documentation of our journey and ultimately my pregnancy.  Hopefully someday I can share this with Megan so she will know what we went through to have her.  So she will know just how much mommy and daddy wanted her and how much we love her.  
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has been a part of my story for the past 2 years.  Anyone who has ever left a comment has left an impact on my heart.  For that, I am eternally thankful. 
If you have an opinion on the future of The PsychedForBaby Blog, I'd be happy to hear it.

The Infamous Wall Letters

Since Megan's name was a secret up until her arrival, I wasn't able to post a picture of her wall letters. Now that she's here and the secret is out, here they are.

The letters came unfinished from http://www.woodenletters.net/ We painted them a chocolate brown and then used scrapbook paper in various colors to coordinate with different elements of the room. The paper on the M and n are my favorite. There's a bit of glitter on those and they add so much character pulling in all of the colors. This was a fun project and a fun way to personalize her space.

Last Belly Pics - what was 39w3d

These photos were taken on Sunday, June 7th in the afternoon. Just about 36 hours before our little one was born. I'm so glad I requested one more set of photos be taken as we really had no idea just how soon the belly would be a thing of the past. From the look on my face in the last photo, I think it was fairly clear that I was ready to be done.

Megan's Speedy Arrival

For some reason new moms like to exchange all the gory details of their birth stories. Ours is one for the books, that's for sure. And definitely something I won't soon forget.

Monday, June 8th, I was having some contractions throughout the afternoon. I timed them when I could and they were about 12-16 minutes apart, but not really strong and weren't lasting for long. Because I wasn't really experiencing any abdominal cramping along with the contractions, I had kind of written them off as more Braxton Hicks contractions.

Throughout the evening things didn't really change, so we decided to go to bed early in case things changed over night.

By about 9pm, the contractions were averaging 9 minutes apart and getting more intense and accompanied by cramping. We called Labor and Assessment at the hospital and asked when we should come in. Their answer was when the contractions are less than 4 minutes apart.

I tried to rest, daddy stayed up and we measured again a few hours later. Contractions were now more like 6-8 minutes apart. I don't think there was any rest after that. Contractions started to get stronger and stronger and definitely were starting to hurt. By 1am, the contractions were 4-5 minutes apart. I got into the shower and by the time I was out, I could barely function through them. I needed help getting dressed and thankfully daddy got me out the door and into the car.

The car ride to the hospital is only about 10 minutes in which time my contractions were coming on every 2 minutes. We pulled up at Emergency at 2:25am and security wheeled me to Labor and Assessment. I no more than got to the room and was changing out of my clothes when my water broke. The triage nurse did an internal and I was 9+cm dilated and fully effaced. This baby was ready to be born!

After a quick panic that I was too far along to get any drugs, I was transported to the delivery room. By this point contractions were coming one on top of the last and getting much worse. When the labor nurse found out I was 9+cm and fully effaced they wanted me to try a couple of pushes. Baby was right there, and I was probably only 10 minutes from delivering.

Because I was already way more than 5cm dilated I couldn't have an epidural. Luckily I still had the option of an intrathecal which is the same drug that is used in an epidural, given as a one time shot in the back instead of being administered through an IV.

By now it was 3:05am and thankfully those meds took effect right away and took just about all the sensation of the contractions away. I could still feel them, but it was so minor. The meds helped slow things down a bit and bought us a little time for me to relax a bit and most importantly, wait for the doctor.

At 3:30am I started pushing through the contractions. This was a piece of cake after what I had already endured before even getting to the hospital. It was only a few pushes and her head was right there. I pushed for about 30 minutes and then we slowed things down again as we waited for the doctor. Once she was in the room, it was only a couple more pushes and Megan Hope was born at 4:34am on June 9th.

We couldn't believe what a peanut she was. 6lbs 1oz and 19in with a full head of dark hair.

I never in a million years imagined that I would go through labor nearly drug-free. Apparently my pain tolerance is way higher than I ever expected. Who knew I had it in me?

2 Days Old - Going Home

June 11, 2009. Today is the day we have been counting down towards since October 2, 2008. Today was Megan's due date.
What an amazing feeling. We finally get to bring our baby home. Momma picked out a super cute little Coming Home outfit, but obviously thought Megan was going to be much bigger than she was. Oh well, she still looked absolutely adorable for her 10 minute car ride home from the hospital. We'll have to wait until she grows a bit and then try it again.

39w5d - Birthday!

Announcing:  MEGAN HOPE

She's here!  Our little blessing arrived two days early on Tuesday, June 9, at 4:34 am.  She weighed 6 lb, 1 oz and was 19 inches.  Just a little peanut.  
Those of you who have followed us along our journey know how much we have counted on Hope pulling us through all the challenges along the way.  Little did we know three years ago when we picked out the name Megan, it would turn out that one of it's meanings would be Great.  So here she is, our Great Hope.      

39w0d - Still Cookin'

What can I say? Baby girl just isn't ready to make her debut yet.

At my appointment last week I had made some more progress from 2 weeks before. Yesterday, we didn't even look. I know my cervix is thinning to about 80% effaced, but dilation is slow coming. I was only up to about 1.5-2cm so that barely even changed.

We actually talked more about what happens if she doesn't come by her due date, and just how long will they let me go over. My OB has said all along that they'll let me go to 42wks, but now that doesn't necessarily seem to be the case. Granted, if I get to 40w1d, they aren't going to rush me in, but at least I know that I'm not looking at June 25th as an end date either.

As the days go by, I'm getting more and more pressure, and feeling it lower and lower but not enough to trigger things. For the most part, I'm still fairly comfortable despite being 39wks pregnant and having a baby butt smashed up against my belly for the majority of the day!

Anyone want to start a baby pool and put your guess out there as to when YOU think baby will come? Official due date is June 11th.