16w4d - Our little avacado

Oh, our baby is the size of an avacado. That makes me think of all the Mexican inspired meals we had along our journey. We even perfected a homemade guacamole. I thought for sure Mexican would be my food craving of choice, but I haven't really had much of a craving for anything let alone our favorite Mexican. I know, there's still time.

Now that Christmas is over, things should start to settle down around here a bit. Just a few more weeks and we'll hopefully be finding out whether baby is a he or a she. And then, there's that nursery to tackle! I'm surprised we haven't even looked at stuff for the baby yet. I guess that's just good self-control and maybe a little procrastination in clearing out the room. I already have a few ideas of what I like and how I want the room to look. The big factor will be if we are decorating in boy tones or girl tones. If it's a girl, I have a feeling it will be a VERY girly room.

What's happening with baby: Week 16 - Avacado

Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming. And, if you're interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

15w5d - Christmas week

Wow! Christmas is just about here and I'm almost to 16wks. This Christmas is so different from the last two years in so many ways. Instead of mourning a loss, we are celebrating the new life growing inside of me.

Today I had my 16wk appointment with my OB. It was just one of those quick appointments. I got to hear baby's heartbeat on the doppler. It's dropped a little, from 169 down to 158 bpm. According to their scale, with clothes on and what I gave them as my pre-pregnancy weight (which was actually pre-IVF weight) I have gained 6lbs. My doctor said that was perfect. Yeah! My next appointment will actually be my targeted level II ultrasound. I can't believe I'm only 4 weeks away from being half way through this pregnancy.

Besides a few episodes of RLP (round ligament pain), I continue to feel great every day. I really can't complain. I'm getting excited to start to feel baby move in the coming weeks.

It must be getting close to time to start buying stuff for baby and working on the nursery. (I can't wait!)

What's happening with baby: Week 15 - Naval Orange

Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby's legs now outmeasure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably still can't feel the movements.

*I need to try to get these weekly updates posted closer to the beginning of the week, not the end of the week.*

14w5d - Exciting weekend

Another week down, and out to more friends.

Friday was a fun day. We went to the Science Museum of Minnesota to see the CSI exhibit. While we waited for our show time, we wandered through the Disease Detectives area. One of the experiment stations was an ECG display. It was the strangest thing to see, the machine was picking up baby's heartbeat along with mine. If I didn't know better, I'd think I had some major heart issue. So cool.

Saturday evening we went to our friends' White Elephant Party. It's been a few years since we've been able to go so it was great that our schedule was open and allowed us to make it this year. We had a good time telling some close friends that we're expecting. Once again, shock and excitement took over. Seeing reactions like this makes me feel so good about not telling anyone when we were trying. For all these years everyone just kept thinking we didn't want kids.

My next OB appointment is next week. 16 weeks. Can you believe it? Time sure is going fast. I continue to feel great every day which must be contributing to the time going so fast. I feel so sorry for the girls who are so sick throughout their pregnancies. Why can't everyone feel this good? I know I have a long way to go, but surviving the first trimester without an ounce of nausea or morning sickness sure was a blessing.

What's happening with baby: Week 14 - Lemon

Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

13w - Someone's Excited!

It's official! Grandma got bit by the new grandbaby bug. I think it's safe to say she's anxious for the new little one. She hit the clearance rack at Kohl's and came bearing gifts. 16 maternity tops that should get me through a good majority of my pregnancy. There is a lot of short sleeve stuff, but if I toss on a sweater it should be about perfect through out the winter. She really scored and got all of this for about $100.

Week 13, Wow! that feels like such a milestone. The first trimester is almost over. I have my next OB appointment scheduled for the week of Christmas, and our Level II 'Big' u/s is already scheduled for January. Having been the one watching other people's pregnancies for so long, I never thought my own would be going by so fast.

What's happening with baby: Week 13 - Peach

Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)

12w4d - Spilled the Beans

Finally, the cat's out of the bag. Our families are really excited and were certainly surprised by the news. I made a collage of the few photos we have of baby and gave each set of parents a copy.

We'll slowly now start telling the rest of our family and friends with most of them finding out through our Christmas card. For now, we have sworn our families to secrecy. It's been such a long journey that we really want to tell people ourselves. If we've been able to keep this secret for so long, it really shouldn't be that much to ask for them to keep it to themselves for a few weeks.

I didn't see my sister for the holiday, but did tell her over the phone. She seemed pretty excited to be a "real" aunt and said she didn't think it would ever happen. She has several nieces and nephews through her husband's side.

Of course we got the "I thought you didn't want kids" comment. I just replied that we changed our minds. We told our families what we went through to get here, but I don't think they really grasped the magnitude of the challenge or the extremes of our journey.

After telling my mom, I found out that I have her to thank for no morning sickness. Apparently she and my sister never really had any to speak of either. Here I was thinking maybe it was because of the constant fluctuations of hormone levels through so many cycles of treatments. At any rate, I feel very thankful to have been skipped over by the morning sickness fairy. (So far at least!)

The first 12 weeks have gone by pretty fast. I just can't believe how close I am to being out of the First Trimester.

And now, what's happening with baby: Week 12 Plum
As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed.

11w5d - NT Scan complete

Not much to update today, but I do have some new photos to share. :)

Baby was quite active at the beginning of the scan, but then decided to take a nap when it was time for the most important measurement. We tried a few tricks, but baby wasn't budging and wouldn't get into position for the neck measurement. We gave baby about 15 minutes and a small bottle of cold water to try to wake them. It worked in that baby woke up, but it was still a challenge to get that little stinker into position.

By measurement, baby was actually measuring a couple of days ahead this time. 12wks exactly. Heart rate was just about the same as last time at 168. It was really cool to see the 4 working chambers of the heart and also the brain.

Seeing baby again today was the reassurance I needed before we start telling everyone later this week. Based on u/s, everything looks good. The u/s tech said she can't say normal or abnormal. Ultimately, we'll know more when the blood work comes back. Speaking of blood work, since when did a finger prick hurt so bad? Ouch! Actually, it was more of a finger slice than a finger prick.

Anyways, as promised, new pics! Look at the 2nd one, it looks like baby could be sucking its thumb.

11w4d - Thanksgiving week

It's almost here! Thanksgiving and our big reveal. While plans have not gone exactly as we had hoped, both families will be here (individually) this week so we can tell them in-person. It was looking like both families would be here for pre-Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday, but that just isn't going to work out. At least we'll be able to tell both sets of parents in-person within 24 hours of each other. That still beats a phone call any day!

I'm getting really excited for our appointment this week. Can't wait to see how much baby has changed in the last 3.5 weeks. It's going to be a busy week, but I'll try to get on to post updates after our appointment. But for now...

What's happening with baby: Week 11 LimeYour fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through. But, fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

10w4d

It's been another quiet week with little to report. I'm still feeling really good. I think I've felt some of those stretching pains in the last few days I also often feel something when I'm in bed switching positions. We went and worked out for a while yesterday. First time in I don't know how long! I did 30 minutes on the treadmill keeping my heart rate under 120.

We have family photos on Saturday and our next appointment is next week already, so I have those things to look forward to this week. Hopefully this week goes by fast!

We're down to 10 days before the big reveal. Our Thanksgiving Day plans haven't completely come together yet, so that's a bit of a stress point. How are we gonna do this? We are ready to host dinner if everything falls into place. I even 'won' a 14.6 lb turkey at a meat/turkey raffle on Saturday!

What's happening with baby: Week 10 Prune
With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will too.)

9w - 1st day in maternity pants

And boy is my belly happy. My poor stomach has been getting so sore when I sit for a while and after meals. Yesterday I went out and got a couple pairs of jeans that actually fit and are super comfy. My belly is so much happier today.

Us IVF'ers have so much bloat to start with from all the stim meds that the belly just sort of keeps expanding instead of a natural conception without any of the drugs where you might actually lose a little bloat before the belly actually starts to pop.

It's been an uneventful week. I'm still feeling like a million bucks..beside the belly issue that has now been resolved. Still getting tired in the afternoons, still no nausea or morning sickness to speak of.

This is our little secret for 3 more weeks. The big reveal will be on Thanksgiving, and honestly, at the rate I'm going, the belly will reveal itself without us having to say anything.

What's going on with baby this week: Week 9 Green Olive

Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!

8w1d - Peace of Mind

It's only been 9 days since we first saw the baby, but already today we could see how much it's grown in just over a week. The spine was so clearly visible this time, and the baby kept moving around. Moving and twisting around so much, already giving the tech a hard time in getting measurements. I think it might have even waved. ;) Baby has grown from 8mm to 1.4cm (give or take, different machine, different tech). We didn't get to hear the heartbeat, but we got to see that wonderful flicker again. She mapped it on the ultrasound at 168 bpm.


Hopefully this will help ease my mind until we have our next appointment. Somehow having little to no symptoms is really messing with my mind. I should just be glad that I feel as good as I do and hope it lasts for as long as possible.

And now for the weekly update: Week 8: Raspberry
Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy.

1st OB Appointment

7w6d - Yesterday was my first OB appointment.

Unfortunately, I was a bit disappointed. They specifically got me in sooner rather than later given my history of losses. Had I not seen the heartbeat the week before, I would have been really frustrated. They didn't do an ultrasound. Heck, this office doesn't even have an ultrasound machine on the premises. You have to go to one of several different offices when you have ultrasound appointments.

I know I was released from the RE, and he said I'd basically be treated like a regular pregnant person from there on out, but don't most regular pregnant people get to see their baby at the first appointment?

It was just all the basic stuff. I had to give blood, 3 vials worth. My poor arms still haven't returned to normal after all the blood draws during the IVF cycle that the poor girl had a hard time getting a good bleed. There was also a urine test, and the regular Pap and full exam.

We talked a bit about the different screenings they recommend. The NT or Nuchal translucency screening will be the first one we do. That's scheduled between 11-14 weeks, so I have about a month before that will take place.

Before I left, I did get scheduled for an ultrasound. It'll be tomorrow afternoon. Now I'm not sure what I want to do about clinics. How important is it to have ultrasound on site? Most of the important ultrasound appointments are going to be booked ahead of time. Do I stay at the convenient close to home location or make a permanent switch to one of the offices with the ultrasound machine? I guess this is something I need to think about a little more.

Tomorrow afternoon can't get here soon enough. I just want another peek at the baby and to see the flickering heartbeat again.

7w1d - 1st OB appointment scheduled

Not a whole lot to update since our appointment just 2 days ago. Yesterday I called and made my first OB appointment. Our RE thought they'd probably want to see me around 10 weeks, but since I have a history of loss, I'm getting in next week!

Having never had an OB/GYN before, I picked a clinic super close to home, but didn't really have a specific doctor in mind. When the receptionist was telling me which doctors had openings next week, it just worked out that it was the one that I kind of "wanted" to see. Her areas of interest are Infertility and High Risk. Not that I consider myself to be high risk (yet), but I am 35 now, and do have those losses under my belt. I don't know, maybe I'm hoping she sort of "gets it" when it comes to being pregnant after infertility. I'm also kind of excited because apparently the 1st appointment is usually just with a nurse practitioner, and I get to see the doctor right away.

Here's what's going on with baby. Week 7: Blueberry

Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place.

6w6d - 1st Ultrasound

We made it. Today was the much anticipated first ultrasound. I was so nervous going into this appointment, I slept just horrible last night. It was just impossible to shut my mind off.

But, the nerves were for nothing (yeah, right)!! As soon as the ultrasound image appeared on the screen, I could see it was good news. There is one precious baby growing in the uterus with the unmistakable flickering of the heart. Baby was measuring 8mm which equals 6w5d, so we are right on track.

Each day is truly a blessing. It feels so amazing to have come this far.

Here are the pictures from today. They aren't the greatest, but they are our baby.

6w1d - Update

Since I've gotten a few emails asking how I'm doing, here's a quick update.

I returned for a 3rd beta this week and my numbers continue to rise nicely. Next week we have our first ultrasound at what will be almost 7 weeks. By that point we should be able to see the flicker of a beating heart.

So far I've been feeling really good. Still taking it extremely easy and avoiding heavy lifting, straining, twisting, etc. I'm starting to feel more hungry throughout the day and always wake up really hungry in the morning. Most days I end up taking a short afternoon nap while watching some show on HGTV or TLC. By bedtime I'm definitely sporting the bloated belly look.

I'll try to be better about posting updates. It just doesn't "feel" like anything is happening right now.

Here's what's happening inside the belly: Week 6: Sweet Pea

Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks and chin. Those little hands and feet- still webbed like paddles- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate.

I Have Something to Share

Okay, first of all, I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner. We got the results of my first beta on Thursday. My number was kind of low at only 39. I was warned that it was really low, and could be a sign of miscarriage. They don't do pregnancy tests on the weekend so I had to wait until today to get the repeat beta done. We were hoping for something around the 160 mark. That would have been perfect 48 hour doubling. My beta came in at 447! Someone told me about a calculator. I guess my doubling was 1.13 days or 27.12 hours. :)

The same nurse that called on Thursday called again today and I could tell she was so excited for us. She said this is a really good number based on where it was on Thursday.

Next week I have one more beta and then an u/s the following week.

Could it be possible that this is actually happening? I sure hope so. I'm more than ready!

More Birthday Festivities

Surprise! A great group of friends turned up at our favorite Mexican restaurant tonight to surprise me for my birthday. Yes, the same restaurant we were just at on Sunday! What can I say, we love this place. I sure was surprised. We usually eat dinner by 5pm, so when I was told our reservations were for 7pm I thought for sure it was for some place else, and it was so late because it was a last minute thing. Boy was I wrong. Apparently this has been in the works for about a month.

I got a couple of very thoughtful gifts that go along with our whole thing about Hope. I got a bracelet that incorporates Rose Quartz stones (for its protection and connection to serenity and fertility. Just like my Angie bracelet) and has a butterfly and a Hope charm on it. The other gift is one of the WillowTree statues, The Angel of Hope.

Our Hope collection just keeps growing. I love all of these wonderful little reminders that so many people around us also have Hope for us and are always thinking and praying for us.

Thanks to all who came out tonight to celebrate my birthday. I love you all.

A Great Distraction

In the 2ww, you need all the distractions you can get.

Today is my 35th birthday. Besides the fact that it is putting us into a new age bracket at the RE's office, it has been a wonderful way to keep my mind off of the time between transfer and my beta.

Yesterday we celebrated a month's worth of birthdays at our favorite Mexican restaurant. It wasn't exactly a baby related day, but it made me feel good anyways. And tonight we went out for an early dinner.

This wait hasn't been too bad, but it isn't over yet either! I still don't have any tests in the house and I'm not sure if I'll get any before my blood test. Guess we'll wait and see.

Babies 1st Photos!

Aren't they just the cutest little things you ever did see!?

Their names are Blastocyst and Morula (top to bottom). I think Blasty has daddy's eyes and Mora has mommy's nose.

Six Little Embryos Growing in a Lab

We got the news from the lab early on Saturday. Of our 16 retrieved eggs, 8 were mature and 6 fertilized with ICSI.

We have double what we had last time in both maturity and fertilization. This is such a relief.

The next phone call didn't come until Monday morning. All 6 of them are still growing. It even looks like we have a good chance of having 4 blastocysts. We only made it to the morula phase last time.

Our transfer is scheduled for later this morning. Our clinic requires strict bedrest for 48 hours, so I won't be posting any updates until at least Thursday. Maybe the Mr. will feel like popping on for a quick update when we get home.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us along the way. I'm sorry I haven't been good about updates during this cycle, but it has felt so much better for me to not have to report every little detail.

Wish us luck!

How We Spent Our Anniversary

At the clinic makin' babies! That's right. Today is our 4th anniversary and we spent the morning retrieving my eggs. Something about this just feels so right. Our embryos are being conceived on our anniversary.

This cycle turned out to be so much better than the last. We had 16 eggs retrieved. Last time, we only got a total of 7.

Our clinic doesn't call until day 2, so we won't hear anything until Saturday. At that point we'll know how many were mature and how many fertilized.

Keeping with tradition, we got a little Mexican take-out for dinner. (Real anniversary dinner will be tomorrow.)

A Chili Relleno, Chalupa and an Enchilada for the Mr. and an Enchilada and a Tamal with rice for the Mrs.

Still Stimming

I'm so proud of myself. I really thought I'd cave and come running to create a new post filled with updates after my appointments.

This MicroDoseLupron (MDL) protocol is so different. I was on stims for 5 1/2 days before they even saw me for blood work and an ultrasound. Things are going really well, just a little slower and more steady. I have a nice cluster of follicles on each side that are growing at about the same rate with no big lead follicle taking over.

So far I've been in twice and will return this weekend. I feel like we are just taking it day by day and that's okay.

After all these months of shots, I finally got my first fairly large bruise from one of the injections last night. This one also bled the most, which makes sense to the bruising. Taking four injections a day, I'm starting to feel like a human pin-cushion. At least the needles are tiny and don't really hurt. My stomach isn't tender to the touch, but it's getting harder to find new places to do the shots. Hopefully we're only looking at a few more days of this...then we can move on to the IM bum shots and give my belly a break. Oh the silly things we look forward to!

Tag! I'm it!

I've been tagged by Stacey.

I'm generally not a fan of chain type emails, and that sort of crosses over to blogland. I'll play along, but I'm going to opt out on tagging someone else. I see a lot of the blogs I follow have already been tagged recently anyways.

If you would like to play, here's what you need to do.

The Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules to your blog
3. Write 6 random things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.

6 random things about myself:

1. I broke my leg ice skating when I was 6yrs old in kindergarten. It isn't easy for a 6yr old to maneuver on crutches let alone in the dead of winter in Minnesota!
   
2. I haven't moved very far from the house I grew up in. I've only lived in 1 county, 4 different places in 2 different suburbs and have only had 2 zip codes.
   
3. I love sun & fun beach type of vacations.
   
4. We have relatives living in Germany and I hope to travel there to see them someday.
   
5. I collect lighthouses.
   
6. My eye for color is just crazy. Once I have an inspiration object, I can usually spot the perfect color match in seconds. Picking out paint colors with me is probably pretty hysterical!

I Love Getting Packages!

Today when the mailman came, they left a package at the front door. I was expecting a delivery from UPS, so being it was so early and that it came USPS, I knew it was something different.

This is what was in the package:



It's an early anniversary/birthday/bed rest (in no particular order) care package.

• We have a bucket of Hope
• a Hershey bar
• some Lucky Charms cereal (Luck)
• Butterfly key holder (more Hope)
• a CD of relaxation music
• Chill TicTacs (Relax)
• a September birthstone Angel pin that says, "May this birthstone angel bring blessings from above."
• SweeTarts to share with my Sweetheart.

This gift came from the same loving, thoughtful people who sent us the Hope plate a while back.

Thank you so much for constantly thinking of us and keeping us in your prayers.

It's Friday!

And I do not have an appointment today. What am I going to do with myself? haha!

After the mishap on Wednesday, I keep looking at my IVF handbook to make sure I'm doing things right. I have double, triple checked the dosage column and I look at the book again every night before bed to make sure there isn't an appointment the next day. (As if something is going to just show up.)

It's only the first week of September, but in Minnesota, it is starting to feel like Fall already. Especially in the morning. Yesterday was the first day I wore jeans with shoes and socks in a long time. I also bought myself some new slippers.

At this point, I guess it's fair to say I was able to reclaim my summer after our botched attempt at IVF #1 back in May. We didn't go anywhere, but I still think we made the most of it. Now that Fall is approaching, I'm ready to settle in and just relax.

How NOT to Start Your New Cycle

By blowing off your first appointment. Yeah. I was supposed to go in for an ultrasound and blood work today. I thought for sure the appointment was scheduled for Friday. Oops.

Apparently this new protocol was too much for me to take in. Changing things up before we even got started. I'm going to blame it on terminology. I swear Stacie said to come in when stim starts. Oh right. Microdose Lupron is actually considered a stim. I didn't know that until today.

Good thing they called me and said you know you were supposed to be here. I figured better 2 hours late than 2 days late.

Getting to the clinic has been like dealing with mass chaos down in that part of town as it is for a few months now. Road construction, building a new ramp at the medical building, etc. Today, the temporary ramp entrance that we've been using is closed to contractors only. I head around the block not knowing if the regular entrance is going to be open. Yes, it was. "Push the button for a ticket". Crap! Do we have to pay to park now? I don't have any money. There's a guy standing out by the entrance, but he's on his phone. I hurry inside to get checked in. Figured I'd ask the receptionist what's going on with the ramp. She asked me for my ticket. It's in the car. Who brings their ramp ticket in? Today's the first day, so she gives me this access chip token thingy that you drop into a slot as you approach the arm at the exit of the ramp. Apparently they are somehow tracking ramp usage, and for now at least, you don't have to pay.

Getting home was just as much of an adventure. I get to the end of the road where you have to turn to get onto the highway. A motorcycle cop is blocking the turn lane. Crap! Now where am I supposed to go? Oh yes. The Republican National Convention is in St. Paul this week. Lovely. Maybe there was some entourage that I just missed? Navigating my way home wasn't that bad, but traffic was definitely unusually heavy for 2pm.

After all of this, I'm just glad I got it over with. The ultrasound was over before I even knew what hit me. Everything looks good, but it was too late in the day to even think about getting any blood work results back today.

I hope this is the only major SNAFU of this cycle. Good grief! I don't need to add any stress to all of this.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere There's Signs

We had Chinese take-out for dinner tonight. This is what my fortune said.



Anyone who knows me knows I'm all about signs. I should start keeping track of the little things that happen going into this cycle.

Mailing lists

How exactly do you get on a mailing list?

This is what I got in the mail today.

Great. A little bedrest reading material? I haven't shopped at BRU since about this time last year before I went to a baby shower in September. And, the mailing address had my maiden name on it. If I shopped with a credit card, it didn't have my maiden name on it.

I haven't ever been pregnant long enough to actually register myself on any websites so they couldn't have gotten my name/address that way.

How funny that this would arrive the day after our consult for IVF #2 when I'm feeling really good about the possible outcome. Might I add, this is the first time I've ever gotten one of these.

May as well look through it since it's here. What harm is there in that?!

Pulled Out a Wild Card

Today was our follow-up appointment with the RE. Not only did we get a new protocol for this next cycle, we were definitely dealt a Wild Card in the Infertility Game.

For months now my baseline day 3 FSH has been well below the level where it would be any concern. Has it been trending higher? Maybe. Numbers I have heard over the course of my treatment have included 6.8, 8.9 and 9.3. Well, this cycle, I pull a 14.3!?! What? That's crazy right? Yes. It is, but having that number documented, puts me into a new category.

I'm almost 35, you can't treat me like I'm 25. This number is proof of that! Even if I get retested and it's lower, I pulled this number "one time" and we'll have to treat me as such.

Should I be devastated by this news? Are my ovaries just too old to do this? I don't know. What I do know is that it shakes up our protocol going into this cycle. This comes as a huge relief to me. Not only are we increasing my dosage of meds, we are doing something completely different.


Welcome to the Microdose Lupron Flare Protocol. Lupron increases from 20iu once a day to 20iu twice a day and on the third day, we add in stims. The difference here is that it had been 20iu of Lupron for 12 days, and then start stims on day 13. Also, we'll be removing Menopur from the mix all together and doing a total of 450iu Follistim for at least the first 5 days, and then going back in for blood work and ultrasound to determine how to proceed.

So, in essence, we aren't completely shutting down the ovaries (or suppressing them) and then turning around and expecting them to kick it into high gear and kick out the follicles.

By going this route, everything shifts up a week. Can't complain there! Instead of yet another delay, we get to move ahead quicker.

We also asked about 3-day vs 5-day transfers. While ideally they'd like to see us get to day 5 blast transfer again, but if things aren't looking as good as they maybe could, we definitely have the option of a 3-day transfer with assisted hatching.

As for why our cycle failed, there really is no simple answer to that. So, we'll take the new information we've been given and go with it. I'm excited to be trying something new. More than just adding in higher doses of meds. Something truly different than we did before.

My renewed Hope remains!

Thoughts on Hope

As we start this new cycle, I want to flood myself with positive thoughts. Sticking with our Hope theme, here are some inspirational quotes to reflect on over the next few weeks.

When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."~Author Unknown

Hope is the only bee that makes honey without flowers. ~Robert Ingersoll

Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark. ~George Iles

Once you choose hope, anything's possible. ~Christopher Reeve

Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them. ~Vincent McNabb

Love floods us with hope. ~Jareb Teague

There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope. ~Edgar Howe

You've gotta have hope. Without hope life is meaningless. Without hope life is meaning less and less. ~Author Unknown

Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier. ~Author Unknown

Hope is but the dream of those who wake. ~Matthew Prior

Hope never abandons you, you abandon it. ~George Weinberg

Hope is patience with the lamp lit. ~Tertullian

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. ~Lin Yutang

So many really good ways to think about Hope and what it means to different people. I already have a couple of favorites.

Looking for Answers

Next week we have our Post IVF follow-up conference with our doctor. This is also lovingly known as the “WTF Appointment” by the girls on the Nest. As in what went wrong with our IVF cycle, and what are we going to do differently this time around?

Recently there has been a surge of positive outcomes for 2nd IVFs after horrible first rounds. These stories are making me feel like maybe we too have a chance. That we’ll get more than 7 follicles, 4 mature eggs, 3 that fertilize and only 1 to transfer.

So, next week it is. We’ll be back in the office signing consent forms and getting the details of our protocol so we can order my meds and get the show on the road.

The only thing I found out ahead of time is that we are starting out by nearly doubling my medications. Makes sense to me. Not to beat a dead horse, but for IVF #1, my Menopur dose was cut in half from what I had been taking for my IUI cycles. As for the Follistim, I was on a higher dose, but going forward, it’ll be even higher.

Hope remains that I will become one of the turnaround success stories and people will be looking to see what I did differently for my successful cycle.

We’ve got our 4th anniversary and both of our birthdays coming up in the next two months. There is no possible gift better than that of a BFP and that is what we are hoping for.

*If you have been through this yourself, and have any suggestions for questions we should ask or things that we definitely should bring up, I'd appreciate hearing from you.

A Little Bit of Magic

I wasn't even going to say anything today, but when I looked out our kitchen window and saw a butterfly fluttering around, I knew I had to say something to acknowledge the day.

As many of you know, butterflies are often used as a fertility symbol. A symbol of the soul. Today of all days, I see a butterfly when I look out the window. Today. August 11, 2008, the date on the calendar that represents the estimated due date of our second angel.

"The metamorphosis of the butterfly is a powerful symbol in so many ways for us when we are grieving. They are the beautiful tiny spark of life that came to us, lighted in our lives for a too brief moment before fluttering away. They are the hope that the transformation that loss brings into our life, can result in something different, something beautiful. We may not be the same at the end of our journey, but we have grown, we are able to see things that we could not before. They are the hope that we may swallow that butterfly soul searching for us, and hold a baby in our bodies and in our arms once more."

Call me crazy, but I'm all about signs. I'll take seeing the butterfly today as some sort of sign sent just for me.

I can't believe it hung around long enough for me to run upstairs and get the camera. I wanted to go outside, but was afraid it would fly away. These pictures were taken through the window.

We're Doing Okay

It's been over a week since we got the devastating news of our IVF failure. The first couple of days were pretty rough for both of us. As the weekend came to a close, I was starting to feel a lot better. (Not that reading emails or trying to write this doesn't still bring the flood of emotions right back to the forefront.)

We talked a bit, worked out a few details, and were able to get scheduled to cycle again right away.

For my own sanity, I am thinking of taking this cycle "offline" and not really blog about things as we progress. Well, at least not publishing the posts. While the support can be utterly amazing, it also feels like it adds so much additional pressure to perform! It was really hard to come back and report the not so good updates.

We all know "it only takes one", but when you have put your whole heart and soul into the cycle, it really hurt to only be left with that one little teeny tiny poppy seed of a chance.

Thanks to everyone for your continued support. I'm sure you can understand how this can be a difficult position to be in. My email is posted if anyone would like to stay in touch while I take some time away from the blog.

2 Things for Me Today

Today was the first day in three years that we went for a bike ride. Long story, don't ask. We live near an awesome paved trial system and everything, but just haven't gone for a ride in 3 years.

It's been so long since we rode that both of our CatEye bike computers were dead. We have no idea how long we were gone or how far we went, but I think it was a little over 30 minutes.

Also showing how long it's been since our bikes have been out, Shanu's bike decided to leave him with only a single gear. Luckily it was a mid-gear, but not so fun for inclines.

And, tonight, I took a bath. It has been so long since I took a relaxing bath. Last Christmas I participated in a Secret Santa exchange and got my person a couple of bath bombs from Blissful Bath. It's a cute little shop in the area about 30 miles from our house. Being I don't get to that part of town all that often, I got a couple of bombs for myself. Tonight was the first time I've used them since December. How pathetic is that!

So tonight, I was feeling the burn of a much overdue bike ride and relaxed in a far too hot tub of water! It was heavenly!

Tomorrow we may go for another ride and if we do, we'll be armed with new batteries in our CatEyes. Not sure if Shanu will have a chance to look at his gearing, but at least we are making an effort to get out again.

And Then There Were None

Today was the big day. Our blood pregnancy test was today.
You know it isn't good news when the doctor calls before the window of time I was expecting to get a call in.

Our one little fighter embryo didn't make it. We knew our chances weren't as good having only one to transfer, but we still held on to every bit of hope we had. (And there was a lot of it!)

I can't beat myself up over this. When there is a next time, they'll give me a higher dose of meds from the start. I had as many follicles on IUI cycles as I did this time around. Did they shut me down too much and I couldn't turn things up enough in time to get good production? That's the question for the doctor to answer.

Unfortunately this was our first cycle with the new clinic and we'll have to chalk it up as a very expensive learning experience. In the future, I'll test at home first. I can take seeing a stark white test strip easier than I can take the phone call.

We'll have a conference with the doctor in a few weeks to go over what went wrong this cycle and what they'll do in the future to get better results.

For a fleeting moment, we had life. At least we have a picture of it. Something tangible. That's more than we've gotten in the past.

Just One

Melissa is on bed rest now, so this will be the last update until Thursday.
Of our three embryos only one made it to a stage where it could be transferred.

Transfer Day!

Today is the big day. Our transfer is scheduled in just a couple of hours.

I did not really get an update when they called to schedule us yesterday, but they did say they still all looked really good and pretty equal when they looked at them on Sunday.

Now it's up to their team to select the 2 best looking embryos in hopes of implantation.

I'll be spending the next 48 hours on bedrest so I won't be able to check-in or give any updates.

Thanks again for all the support and well wishes during this process.

Good things come in 3's, right?

I sure hope so, cause that's how many embryos we have! Out of our 7 eggs that were retrieved, 4 were mature and 3 fertilized with ICSI.

Things were on track as of this morning, and all of them were right about equal. We'll get another call on Monday and set up the transfer for sometime on Tuesday.

Tonight was my first PIO shot and I have to say, it really wasn't that bad. I was definitely expecting a lot worse.

Thanks to everyone who's left comments or sent emails in the last few days. I definitely appreciate all the love and support going into this.

Random thoughts during an IVF cycle

(Click to enlarge)

Home and Relaxing

Our ER was at 8:30 this morning. They went in looking for 7 and that's what they came out with. We won't know any more until Saturday.

I had 9 follicles earlier in the week, so I don't know how it turned up that they were only looking for 7, but at least they got them all.

Anyways, the worst part was trying to find a good spot to start the IV. She finally settled on the back of my hand and it was pretty easy going. I woke right up and was holding a conversation on my way back to the recovery room. We hung out for about 1/2 an hour and then I was discharged.

I was given some Tylenol before I left and just now I took some more. I've had only a slight crampy feeling so far, but I want to stay on top of things. I actually feel pretty good.

We did ICSI on all of them, so I'm hoping for good numbers on Saturday!
(I'm borrowing someone else's lucky number here!)

Tonight, in honor of our tradition for important baby related days (and this was a big one!) we will be having Mexican!

Time to pull the trigger!

These little follicles are getting their eviction notice delivered to them tonight at 8:30pm! Time for me to meet "the big guy" as referenced below.

Egg retrieval will be Thursday morning at 8:30am.

As of today, still 9 measurable follicles with plenty of smaller ones tagging along for the ride. I feel really good about those 9 because 9 happens to be my lucky number. And, I'm hoping for quality over quantity.

Of course I'm really anxious with a bit of nerves thrown in the mix too. I've never had an IV and only ever been put under once and that was when I had my Wisdom teeth out. I don't do well with needles, but I have gotten better after what feels like a million blood draws over the last 2 years.

Our clinic calls on day 2 with the fertilization report, so I probably won't know anything until Saturday.

Wish me luck!

Just call me the slow hen

This morning I was at the clinic for another blood draw and ultrasound.

Different ultrasound tech, different nurse. Still 9 measurable follicles with 5-10 smaller ones on each side.

Just got the call that I'm supposed to continue with the same dosage of meds again tonight and tomorrow morning. Follistim 225iu, Menopur 75iu and 5 units Lupron. Tomorrow will be day 12 of stims. That feels like so long given my past experience with the IUI cycles. I only stimmed for about 6-8 days at a lower dosage and was ready to go.

Anyways, back to the clinic again tomorrow for more of the same.

I think they said my E2 was at 998 yesterday and up to 1234 today. Slow and steady she goes.

And for your viewing pleasure, a shot of our shots. ;) Fortunately, I haven't had the pleasure to meet the big guy just yet.

Still growing

Another Sunday morning starting out with a trip to the doctor's office.

Ultrasound is showing 9 good sized measurable follicles (above 10mm) and anywhere from 5-10 smaller ones on each ovary. I have one lead follicle that's sort of taking off from the pack. Funny, there had been pretty equally sized follicles on each ovary up until now. Thoughts are we let that one go and get some of the rest of them to catch up.

My blood work (Estradiol) has made a nice steady climb all week. I have been in on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. What started out at a low 20, climbed to 39, then 185 and then up to 498 as of Friday.

I go back again tomorrow, but as of now, it sounds like I'll be stimming for a couple more days. "Maybe" triggering on Tuesday with retrieval on Thursday.

After all this time, you'd think I'd be used to all this waiting. The anticipation has me excited, but at the same time, I don't want to get too excited, because things keep changing.

Inching closer

Time for an update.

After two and a half days on stims, 75iu Menopur and 150iu Follistim I had a blood draw yesterday. My E2 was at a lowly 20. Eeeks! It was actually down from 28 earlier in the week. Huh?

Doctor upped my Follistim to 225iu and wanted to see me back first thing this morning. Today my E2 was up to 39. Yeah, making progress!

My first follicle check will be Wednesday. I'm anxious to see how things look by then. That'll be after five and half days of meds.

Come on Follies! You can do it. Grow grow grow.

No news = Good news?

Yesterday was my suppression check ultrasound and blood draw. I'm assuming since I didn't hear anything from the clinic that it's all good and we are clear to go!

My ultrasound showed 17 total antral follicles. Last time I had 23. I guess this is a sign that things were shut down a little better going into this round.

Friday I start both Menopur and Follistim. It's going to be weird doing morning and evening injections. I can hardly believe my last medicated cycle was in January! That feels like so long ago. That was so long ago. Hopefully my body will remember what it's supposed to do with these medicines and produce a good number of excellent quality eggs that mature nicely.

I am more than ready to get this long awaited show on the road. I'm sure there will be lots of updates through next week as I have appointments scheduled for almost every day.

Here we go!

Cooperation

For the first time in a really long time, I feel like my body is actually doing what it's supposed to do, when it's supposed to do it.

Wednesday was my last BCP, and within about a day and a half, AF had arrived. This is progress from last time when the silly lady never showed until after my cycle was cancelled. At least a week later than expected.

Tomorrow is my final suppression check before we kick things into high gear on Friday. I hope the blood work and ultrasound also indicate that my body has decided to cooperate.

*Fingers crossed all goes well tomorrow*

Feeling productive

Back in May when our IVF was cancelled, we kicked it into high gear and started on our fence project.

Why not? I'd actually be able to help with a majority of it.

Memorial Day weekend, we started digging post holes. 43 of them. Thanks to the help of some friends, and a rented power auger, all the holes got dug in one day.

Over the course of the next few weekends and many evenings, the posts were all set and many cross pieces attached.

Last weekend, we finally started on some of the vertical slats and now we actually have the beginnings of a very fine looking fence.

We only have about a week's worth of work left in me before I start on lifting restrictions again. Hopefully we can knock out a lot more this weekend and next week and still find some relaxing time in between.

These pictures were taken on Tuesday. One month from starting. It's a big project and hard to put it into perspective. Way bigger than I can squeeze into one frame.

Is this what I really meant when I said I was excited to get some of my summer back?

And Ben, thanks for all the help you've given us on this project.

Keeping "Hope" close to my heart

As I have mentioned before, Hope is what is pulling us through all of these hard times. I recently received this necklace from my best friend who wanted to give me a way to keep our Hope close to my heart.

Thank you. I needed that.

Good luck on Friday the 13th!

That's right. I said good luck. My appointment today was great! After being back on the pill since May 19th, both of my ovaries are quiet. Yeah! (Amazing what leaving the antibiotic out of the protocol will do.)

After seeing quiet ovaries, I was still so scared that something was going to come back wonky with my blood work. Nope! I was wrong. That was good too.

I think I have these numbers right; my Progesterone was 0.54 and my Estradiol was 23. When I had gotten my blood work back last time just before my cycle was cancelled, my Estradiol was 379 and my Progesterone was 11. So, obviously my numbers are looking much better this time.

Out of curiosity, I asked what my FSH was last time it was tested. In May, on or about cycle day 3, it was 8.3. Ideally they want to see it under 10, so I'm still good there.

So, the good news in all of this is I get to move ahead as planned and will start Lupron next Sunday. I don't go back until July 1st, which is 10 days into the Lupron. Being we already took a peek today, things really "should" be good at that point. It will almost be more of a typical baseline ultrasound.

Finally, some good news and forward movement. Now that's a good feeling.

Welcome to June!

It's June and we are that much closer to our actual IVF procedure.

I start my Lupron shots in June, but not before my one and only scheduled June appointment. This time my doctor is going to see me before I start my Lupron instead of waiting until I've been on it for ten days to see what's happening.

The last couple of weeks have gone by really fast. We've managed to keep ourselves super busy, so that has helped a lot.

It's nice to have a lot of little milestones to look forward to. It makes each thing seem more important and significant in the grand scheme of things.

Now, I just have to make it to next Friday for my first appointment. I think I can handle that!

Let's try this again.

Yesterday was my consultation with the IVF nurse. Basically it was just a quick run down of our new calendar and to actually get dates solidified. Nothing really changed from what I had already posted, just the addition of the first u/s.

• May 19 - Start BCPs
• June 13 - Ultrasound, Estradiol and Progestrone check (hope for quiet conditions)
• June 22 - Start Lupron
• June 25 - Last day of BCPs
• July 4 - Start stims
• July 6 - July 11 - appointments almost daily for U/S and blood work
• Week of July 15 - Estimated Egg Retrieval

Knowing that June is just around the corner is making me feel better about this timeline. Looking two months out was really hard when we were cancelled, but now we're already a couple of weeks past that.

Hopefully our weather will finally take on more of a summer-like feel and I can get out and enjoy as much of the month of June as possible before July arrives with all of those appointments.

Revelation - Confirmed!

This week I saw a friend of ours who is a pharmacist. I ran my little scenario past her and she agrees that it certainly could have been due to starting the Z-pak with my BCPs that caused me to ovulate through the pill.

She even mentioned the warnings that come out with an antibiotic saying if you are using an oral contraceptive to make sure you are using back-up protection.

I feel so much better, but still want to talk to my doctor about it. It just seems odd that they try to peg me as the rare 1% that the pill doesn't work for when they are the ones giving me antibiotics at the beginning of my cycle. Really, can I be the only one this has happened to? That just seems a little too unlikely.

At least this time I'm not taking a Z-pak, so hopefully things will stay nice and quiet as they should have. I guess I'll find out in a few weeks.

Tuesday is my nurse consultation, I'll be sure to mention my concerns then.

Had a revelation today....

You know how they say antibiotics can cause birth control pills to be less effective? What if that's what happened to me?

Granted, I've ovulated through the pill before, but being on one of the highest dosage meds on the market, doesn't it seem possible that by taking 4 days worth of antibiotics at the beginning with the BCPs that it could cause them to be less effective?

It just seems that there have always been warnings along with antibiotics that if taken with oral contraceptives to make sure you are using back-up protection.

What if that's what it was? Maybe I'm not as much of a freak as they'd like to make me believe I am. This is probably just me grasping at straws, but I can't stop my mind from thinking about this.

Starting right away does not equal instant gratification!

I feel the need to clarify now that I've actually gotten my new tentative calendar from the IVF nurse. In my last post, I said, "We should be able to start the whole process all over again as soon as AF shows. I automatically get put into the next possible cycle and won't have to wait for an opening, so that's good."

Lucky for me, AF arrived over the weekend. So, while we truly are starting the process again right away, it's just that. We have to start all over again.

• Today, will be day 1 of BCPs.
• Lupron will start June 22nd.
• Last BCP will be June 25th.
• Stims start July 4th.
• Retrieval week of July 13th.

Because my period came so quickly, I probably could have pushed to get things moved ahead one week because that would have still given me 31 days on BCPs. They just wanted me on a minimum of 28 days. So, if 28 was desired, will 38 be better? These dates were given to me on Friday before we knew when AF would arrive and they were guessing it would be later in the week, not the next day. At this point, really, what's one more week?!

Somehow seeing retrieval nearly 2 months out does not make me feel any better. We should be less than 10 days from retrieval, not nearly 2 months!

First we had to plan around Memorial Day weekend, now we have to look ahead and plan around July 4th weekend and make sure we are home.

In a way this gives me back a little of my summer, but I hate having to live or plan my life around doctor's appointments, blood draws and ultrasounds.

Is anyone else tired of bad news?

It's over. IVF#1 was cancelled before we even really got started.

Dr Campbell just called me himself to tell me he'd recommend I stop everything and come back in after my period starts and we'll try again. At least we only used up 2 $40 copays worth of meds (Lupron and Ganirelix) and $10 worth of Z-pak and $10 in BCPs so far and I hadn't started any of the stim meds yet.

Even though the follicle was smaller and my lining was thinner, my Estradiol level only went down to 232 from 379 on Tuesday. Like they said, it should be under 20.

I can't help but think there isn't going to be anything they can do to make my body stop ovulating. Apparently I'm like the freak 1% of the population. Yeah me!

We should be able to start the whole process all over again as soon as AF shows. I automatically get put into the next possible cycle and won't have to wait for an opening, so that's good.

Why is this happening?

Another interesting day in the life of an infertile!

Today was supposed to be an easy schmeasy suppression check. Ultrasound and blood work. No big deal. Of course, as we have discovered many times along this journey, things are not always as easy as they should be.

My appt was at 10:30am. I arrived a little early and had my blood drawn. Piece of cake. I had a good draw and things went smoothly. I barely bled after she took the needle out, and even hours later, didn't get any bruising like I have been due to the baby aspirin.

A few minutes later I was being called back for my ultrasound. We already knew I had had some ovarian activity when I was in for my SIS/Mock transfer, but I wasn't prepared to see a 26mm follicle. They called it degenerating. As in it was on it's way down. My lining was at 5.8mm. They'd like to see it closer to 5mm for IVF. It's been 6 days since my last BCP and I have not seen any signs of AF yet. So, no period, thicker lining. Okay, they let it go. I'm pretty sure I heard the technician say I had 11 follicles on one side and 12 on the other. 23 antral follicles. That's pretty good. **Antral follicle counts are a good predictor of the number of mature follicles that we will be able to stimulate in the woman's ovaries when we administer the injectable FSH medications that are used for in vitro fertilization.**

Before I left, the IVF nurse discussed a possible tweak to my protocol. I might have to stay at 20units of Lupron for a couple more days, but it shouldn't effect my start of stims.

The first unexpected event of the day happened about 15 minutes after I got home. The phone rang, and it was the clinic. They needed me to come back in! for a second draw. There was some mix up in the lab, and my vial of blood got the wrong bar code label on it, and they tested for the wrong thing. What? How does this happen? So, I got back in my car and drove back to the clinic.

Same girl did the draw, and apologized again for the mix-up. Draw #2 was as good as the first. Unfortunately, it was already 12:45pm and there was no guarantee that my results would be back in time.

About 3:15pm I got a call from the clinic. Yeah, they got the blood work results back, that's good! What I wasn't expecting, was to hear that once again, I ovulated through the pill! What is wrong with my body? My Estradiol was 379...it should have been under 20. :( And my Progesterone was 11. Both indicative that I had indeed ovulated.

New plan for the next 3 nights is to add in Ganirelix, another shot, and continue with the 20units of Lurpon for 2 more days, drop down to 5units and return to the clinic on Friday for another U/S and blood draw.

If the U/S shows the follicle has gone down and that the Estradiol level has decreased, we should still be on the right track to start stims on Friday.

Please, please, please....let this all fall into place.

Hello headache

Apparently the Lupron is making itself known. I had a pretty intense headache yesterday that never really let up even after taking Acetaminophen. This morning I woke up to the same thing. I'm afraid to take anything stronger than Acetaminophen, but if this lasts much longer I might have to.

I pulled out the packet of information that came with all my drugs last week and one of the side effects listed for the Lupron is headaches.

Oh boy! I guess a headache is better than some of the other side effects which include nausea, vomiting, difficulting urinating or hot flashes!

On a side note, today is my last of BCPs. :)

They're here!

Our IVF meds arrived today. Luckily I was prepared for this seeing similar photos in other blogs that I read.

This is what all was included:















and here's a picture of what it all looks like spread out on the couch.




That is a lot of needles!













And here we have the cute little logo for Schraft's Specialty Pharmacy. It's kind of funny to think that all these meds and needles replace the stork in bringing a baby. How appropriate.

Our Tradition

I'm not sure how or when this came about, but baby days are Mexican days for us. That is to say, on baby related days, we eat some sort of Mexican food. Over the past two years, Melissa has learned that she likes more than just tacos. She also loves tamales, tostadas, tostaguacs, and enchiladas. We've found our favorite area restaurant, El Toro; and I've learned to cook some Mexican of my own from Diana Kennedy's: The Essential Cuisines of Mexico.

Along the way, I purchased a Molcajete for making fresh guacamole. Having a tradition, like this, is one of the ways we cope. We've had a lot of Mexican food over the past two years. Tonight, we had enchiladas.



Once the basic components are prepared, this is a simple dish to assemble. We usually make the ranchera sauce and filling ahead of time. The filling, we like the best, is just a simple ground turkey that is seasoned like we would for tacos.

To assemble, fry one 5" corn tortilla quickly in oil, without letting it get crispy. Drain the tortilla, and then dip it in ranchera sauce. I actually put a spoonful of sauce on the one side and smear it around, then flip the tortilla over and repeat. Then spoon two tablespoons of filling on the tortilla, and roll it up. Place the enchilada in an oven-safe dish. Repeat as necessary to make enough enchiladas. Finally, spoon a little of the ranchera sauce on top of the enchiladas, and then sprinkle them with some mild cheddar cheese. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 10 minutes.

Taco Meat
1 lb ground turkey
2 tablespoons cumin
1 tablespoon ancho
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried cilantro
1 tablespoon dehydrated onion flakes
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1 cup water

Directions:
Brown ground turkey and drain. Add all ingredients, simmer over low heat to reduce moisture.

Salsa Ranchera
2 pounds fresh tomatoes
2 Serrano chiles
2 Garlic cloves
4 tablespoons Canola oil
1 teaspoon kosher salt

Directions:
Roast the tomatoes and chiles under the broiler for 5-10 minutes (turning once) until slightly charred. Puree the tomatoes and chiles along with the garlic and salt in a blender. In a fry pan, heat the oil, and then add the sauce and cook quickly for about 5-7 minutes until the sauce has reduced a bit.

We're on our way!

Well, I guess it's official. As of Sunday I have started on BCPs and my Z-pak antibiotic in preparation for IVF.

If there's one thing I've always been pretty lucky about, it is my 28-29 day non-medicated cycles. Even with the pressure of perfect timing, I managed to have a perfect 29 day cycle which put me right in line for the projected schedule we were given. Should my period have been even one day late, we would have had to put things off at least a week if not more due to scheduling at the clinic.

This is a quiet week, followed by two appointments next week. I'll have my SIS and trial transfer on Tuesday with our nurse consultation on Thursday. With the nurse consult comes our up-front payment. Eeeks! That's one check I'm not looking forward to writing out.

Last week on Monday I went in for the Karyotyping and Antinuclear Antibodies blood draw. I'm not sure if I should expect the results from these tests as early as next week. It's possible, but seems a little early. At this point, all we can do is wait, which is one thing I've gotten quite used to in all of this. Waiting.

Some of my friends who have also gone through IVF recommended that I make a color-coded calendar to keep track of everything. So far I've got appointments in red, and each medication has its own color. I like to be organized, and it seems like this will be the best way to keep track of everything. I don't think my little purse sized planner would be big enough for all of this stuff. Besides, it'll be nice to see it all at a glance and not have to flip through week by week to see where we are in the process.

The basic timeline of our cycle is BCPs for 3 1/2 weeks, starting Lupron on May 4th, and stimulation drugs on May 16th. Depending on how I respond to the meds, we are looking at an estimated egg retrieval date of May 26th. From start to finish it's about a 9-week process.

There probably won't be many updates between now and my first ultrasound after stims start. I feel like we are in a period of calm before the storm.

Sorry for the inconvenience....

Due to a certain spammer that has some how accessed my Blog, I had to add the word verification to my comments.

This was only the 2nd time this has happened, but it was on my last 2 consecutive posts. For some reason, I don't see it as a coincidence.

Thanks for understanding.

Back to the Phlebotomist

Boy, this sure was something I haven't been missing out on these last few months!

Today I had to drive 30 minutes into the clinic for like a 2 minute blood draw. (Can I say I already miss having the RE only 10-15 minutes away?) I guess I can't really complain because it was over so quickly. I was expecting it to be a lot worse, but it was only two vials of blood, and really not that bad. I've heard some girls say they had over 10 vials drawn for these tests! The girl who took my blood had the tourniquet so tight I thought my arm was gonna fall off! Maybe that's what made the draw go so well?

Anyways, we are doing an Antinuclear antibody and Karyotype testing. These are the two tests that the new doctor wanted to run as part of our RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) testing.

I found this statistic today and was kind of surprised by the figure:
•70% of first trimester losses due to chromosomal abnormalities.

Back in 2003, I had a large number of autoimmune disease tests done and nothing came back as positive, so I'm hoping the Antinuclear antibody is negative this time around as well. I already did the Anticardiolipins antibody and Lupus back in December and those were negative. Hopefully we continue to eliminate more factors from the list.

One good thing, I think, they don't consider blood draws office visits, so that means no co-pay! Hopefully this just goes as some random medical expense and not actually infertility related so it ticks away at our funds.

Hope - at our doorstep

For awhile now our motto has been about "Having Hope" and "Never Give Up".

This morning the doorbell rang and a package was sitting on the doorstep. When we opened the package, this is what we found.

Thank you for such a special gift! (You know who you are.)

We have a plan!

Our meeting with the new doctor went really well yesterday. We were very impressed and had a great overall feeling for the new doctor and clinic in general. We'll be seeing Dr Campbell at The Center for Reproductive Medicine in Minneapolis.

I'm about half-way through my cycle and when AF arrives, I'll call the clinic for a prescription for BCPs. I told him I ovulated through the one I was on before so he's gonna make sure I get on a higher dose one this time as quiet ovaries are crucial to starting an IVF cycle.

I'll be taking BCPs for about 3 weeks and then moving on to the stimulation drugs. It's too soon to have an actual calendar or protocol, but it sounds like ER (egg retrieval) will be early to mid May.

We have a few things that we need to verify through insurance and both of us have to get some blood work done and then there's a little more to do on my end, but it's mostly just pre-IVF stuff. Mock transfer, SIS (Saline infused sonogram) and the blood work. We've already had a lot of the required tests and they already know what the swimmers are capable of so we don't have to re-do any of those tests.

Doctor recommended IVF with ICSI (which we already knew based on the borderline normal hamster test). With ICSI you pay one additional flat fee and they'll do all the mature eggs, so you have a better chance of optimal fertilization rates.

It feels so good to know that we're just a few weeks away from getting another cycle started. While it's been so nice to not have the stress for the last few weeks, I'm ready to move on!

To my friends

Here we are under a week to our IVF consultation appointment. I know I wouldn't be where I am today without the generous love and support from all of my friends both in real life and through the internet. And for that, I say Thank You.

I haven't been around a lot lately, and for that, I'm sorry. There really hasn't been much for me to say over the last six weeks. Surprisingly, the time has actually gone by pretty fast. I can only hope that after our appointment we find ourselves with some sort of a schedule or at least an outline of a plan for what's to come.

One month from today

March 26th is the big day! We meet the new RE and have our IVF consultation. Four more weeks (and a day) and we'll be there.

Last week I completed my new patient paperwork and got that mailed off along with the release forms going to my old doctor and the urologist. Hopefully by the time our appointment is here the new clinic will have all of our previous records.

It still feels weird to be on a break, but it just makes the most sense. Why waste insurance dollars when we can move on to bigger and better treatment. In my heart, I know this is the right decision.

Come on March 26th!

My World in Pictures

Here's something a little different today thanks to the Blogger's Challenge.

1. What is your first name?


2. When is your birthday?


3. What kind of car do you want?


4. Where did/do you go to school?
Close enough!

5. What is your favorite season?


6. What is your favorite type of shoe?


7. What is your status?


8. What is your favorite movie?


9. What is your favorite song?


10. Who is your favorite Disney character?


11. What is your favorite clothing line?


12. What is your favorite vacation destination?


13. What is your favorite dessert?


14. What is your favorite letter?


15. What are you most afraid of?


16. What is your favorite TV show?


17. What annoys you the most?


18. What is your job?
(for now - aka unemployed)

19. What is your favorite animal?


20. How old are you?


Wanna play? Here's how:
1. Go to photobucket.com
2. Type in your answer for each question into the PhotoBucket search bar.
3. Only use the first two pages. Choose your favorite photo to represent your answer.
4. Copy the html and paste it here.
5. You can only answer in picture form